Robert Fairchild and Tiler Peck...........

[Olga]

That is true, but the posting was done most aggressively by one of them, and not the other, and now some posts have been edited/deleted. That's all.

[Helene]

Perhaps they will learn not to post on the World Wide Web in the first place, and the disparity in numbers is irrelevant, since it was shared by both sides.   The Internet has a long memory, and the only way to put the social media genie back in the bottle is if it isn't seen by thousands and/or no one has take a screen share.  (Which would have been removed from this site.)

Fairchild showed a propensity for publicizing his private life throughout his relationship with Peck; it was mutual.  

[Fleurfairy]

Who is "Day"?

[Helene]

Fairchild and Day shared the role of Jerry in the London production of "An American in Paris."

[CharlieH]

3 minutes ago, Helene said:

Fairchild and Day shared the role of Jerry in the London production of "An American in Paris."

That's all? Just a professional connection?  I thought that they were also personal friends, from the looks of the posted photos.

[nanushka]

2 hours ago, Olga said:

That is true, but the posting was done most aggressively by one of them, and not the other, and now some posts have been edited/deleted. That's all.

They were commenting back and forth on each other's posts, so it's unlikely that one of them was making anything public without the other's knowledge or permission. More likely they just didn't think (or were too swept up in things to be mindful of the fact) that their public postings would get quite so much attention (which is odd, since surely they both know that many of their followers aren't personal acquaintances).

Interestingly, it was only after getting attention here on Ballet Alert that various weeks-old postings were subsequently edited or deleted.

[Helene]

1 hour ago, CharlieH said:

That's all? Just a professional connection?  I thought that they were also personal friends, from the looks of the posted photos.

From the photos and text originally posted on social media weeks ago, they are, and that was already established earlier in the thread, but I interpreted the question differently, which is why I answered the way I did.

[canbelto]

3 hours ago, Olga said:

If the dancers are choosing not to broadcast details of their personal lives I would prefer to respect that, particularly where not to do so might be hurtful to others involved. To me, it crosses a line.

They were public facing instagram posts where Robbie was also commenting on the posts. If they wanted to hide their personal friendship/relationship public-facing pictures of them together as well as captions and comments isn't a very effective way to hide that relationship.

[sandik]

35 minutes ago, canbelto said:

If they wanted to hide their personal friendship/relationship public-facing pictures of them together as well as captions and comments isn't a very effective way to hide that relationship.

yup

If you don't want to be the subject of gossip, better not to participate at all.

Edited November 20, 2017 by sandik

[yukionna4869]

Honestly, I would have preferred their relationship be discussed in the “Robert Fairchild in American in Paris” thread instead of in this one. I can imagine that it’s uncomfortable for Day to have people his relationship with Fairchild being discussed in the same place that people discussed Fairchild & Peck’s.

Although, I don’t know that this thread was the reason some pictures were taken down. 

Edited November 20, 2017 by yukionna4869

[Helene]

This isn't about comfort, which is a discussion of the discussion.  We're not a fan board, and dancers and families read here at their own risk.

If anyone has an issue with a post, there is a "report" button.  We review reported posts and, if we agree, we delete, move, edit, etc.

[Helene]

Official sources only are allowed here.  Other internet forums are not official sources.

[canbelto]

Well I have been blocked by Ashley and Robbie on Instagram. I guess for posting those photos? I am surprised they found out my instagram handle but if they are reading this: I apologize I did not mean to hurt anyone's feelings or anything of that sort. I just thought that since those photos were public that they were okay to post. I am a big fan of Robbie's dancing and support him in all his future endeavors, personal and career-wise.

[Emma]

Fairchild has 26,900 followers on instagram. If he did not want certain information to be public, he should not have posted and commented on a public facing medium.

[Birdsall]

As someone who is gay and openly gay in the South and in education (a field where many find it harder to be open) I find it absurd to be gay and closeted in the performing arts in NYC in 2017.......it boggles the mind. I took lgbt high school students and their parents to meet with school board members way before anti-bullying iniatives were popular and mainstream. They were getting harassed and beat up and the schools they attended were not doing anything about it. I was shocked by these kids' stories and took them to meet school board members to tell what they are going through (getting beat up simply because other kids assumed they were gay without them necessarily admitting it). Other teachers thought I was risking my career, but hearing what these kids went through (fearing for their physical safety on a daily basis) made me not worry about my career. They needed an adult who showed them he is not afraid to be who he is and stand up for them to the school board. After those experiences I have no patience for people who worry about their careers after hearing about what these kids went through.

[sonatina1234]

22 minutes ago, Birdsall said:

As someone who is gay and openly gay in the South and in education (a field where many find it harder to be open) I find it absurd to be gay and closeted in the performing arts in NYC in 2017.......it boggles the mind. I took lgbt high school students and their parents to meet with school board members way before anti-bullying iniatives were popular and mainstream. They were getting harassed and beat up and the schools they attended were not doing anything about it. I was shocked by these kids' stories and took them to meet school board members to tell what they are going through (getting beat up simply because other kids assumed they were gay without them necessarily admitting it). Other teachers thought I was risking my career, but hearing what these kids went through (fearing for their physical safety on a daily basis) made me not worry about my career. They needed an adult who showed them he is not afraid to be who he is and stand up for them to the school board. After those experiences I have no patience for people who worry about their careers after hearing about what these kids went through.

 

Edited November 21, 2017 by sonatina1234

[Birdsall]

Well, I did not connect the dots and do not follow them on social media at all. I am just reading this thread and responding.  You are right that they don't owe anyone anything, but being gay, in my opinion, is no big deal in 2017 especially in NYC so their lives will go on if they are indeed gay and probably for the better. The hiding is the part that keeps people from being amazing people. I have witnessed a very homely guy who held himself very awkwardly and looked ugly literally blossom into a gorgeous man (after he told his parents and they accepted him) who was no longer stiff and nervous looking and transformed into a hunk (his face was lit up and no longer had a serial killer look) that every guy wanted to date. When I saw this amazing and incredible transformation of a friend in college it made me realize that people have to be who they are. Period. Trying to hide it is no good.

But you are right. Nobody has to follow my idea of how to act. Everyone can act however they want, but I have a right to have an opinion also.

I also have a good friend whose husband left her for a man while she was pregnant. It was very traumatic. So, yes, I know that there are sensitive issues at play, BUT I bet she's glad she's not being fooled anymore! If I were a woman I would be thankful that my husband didn't keep hiding it and waste my precious time looking for someone who really wants me. Who wants to live a lie? The Truth is always the best, in my opinion. Best for everyone in the long run.

[Helene]

[Admin mallet in hand]

Do NOT discuss the discussion.  It's tiresome having to repeat this.

The photos were on public-facing social media, and are official news.  Whether you agree with someone posting official news is not our concern and is not a subject for discussion.

Do not respond to posts that discuss policy.  Report them, and we will remove them.

[Mallet at my side, in case I need it.]

[canbelto]

He has a right to be offended. Everyone has a right to their feelings. But his privacy violated? I didn't film them together without their knowledge, or post a photo from a paparazzi/gossip rag magazine. 

And social media works both ways for performing artists. R. Fairchild has used his social media to promote his past and upcoming projects. Using your public-facing social media to promote yourself is totally acceptable. It's what athletes like Serena Williams or Steph Curry or Broadway stars like Ben Platt or Lin Manuel Miranda do all the time.

With that being said, if you use your social media to promote your own projects but then also post personal stuff, you can't expect people to know what is "private" and not okay to link and what is "public" especially if all the photos are all public-facing. 

Edited November 21, 2017 by canbelto

[vipa]

11 minutes ago, canbelto said:

And social media works both ways for performing artists. R. Fairchild has used his social media to promote his past and upcoming projects. Using your public-facing social media to promote yourself is totally acceptable. It's what athletes like Serena Williams or Steph Curry or Broadway stars like Ben Platt or Lin Manuel Miranda do all the time.

With that being said, if you use your social media to promote your own projects but then also post personal stuff, you can't expect people to know what is "private" and not okay to link and what is "public" especially if all the photos are all public-facing. 

So true that social media works both ways. R. Fairchild and T. Peck used media to publicize their story/marriage, but in doing so they created an audience that's interested in their relationship. They understandably, are not forthcoming about the reasons for their breakup, but they are left with the audience they built. 

[Fleurfairy]

Wow canbelto, that's kind of bizarre that they both blocked you. Bizarre and uncalled for.

[Kathleen O'Connell]

I can't pretend to know why Fairchild and Day took down their Instagram posts; I don't know them and I don't know the dynamics of their social and family circles. However, it's entirely possible that they took them down out of a concern for the feelings of others – perhaps their respective exes*, perhaps members of one or both of their families – rather than the sudden realization that they might have outed themselves. 

If so, it's a shame they didn't think about it before they posted, but they are hardly the first people who have advertised a relationship when tact might have been the better part of valor.

Sometimes – most times? – it's difficult to see that your own joy is nothing but a dagger in someone else's heart.

* For the record, I don't know if Day has an ex, but it would hardly be surprising if he did. 

Edited November 21, 2017 by Kathleen O'Connell

[fondoffouettes]

12 hours ago, canbelto said:

He has a right to be offended. Everyone has a right to their feelings. But his privacy violated? I didn't film them together without their knowledge, or post a photo from a paparazzi/gossip rag magazine. 

And social media works both ways for performing artists. R. Fairchild has used his social media to promote his past and upcoming projects. Using your public-facing social media to promote yourself is totally acceptable. It's what athletes like Serena Williams or Steph Curry or Broadway stars like Ben Platt or Lin Manuel Miranda do all the time.

With that being said, if you use your social media to promote your own projects but then also post personal stuff, you can't expect people to know what is "private" and not okay to link and what is "public" especially if all the photos are all public-facing. 

I'm sorry you were blocked. I echo the sentiments of others here. They both have a ton of followers (I'm sure several of which overlap, given their careers in Broadway musical), and they were regularly posting googly-eyed comments on one anothers' accounts, as well as posting photos/stories of themselves together. And like vipa has said, Fairchild and Peck have built an audience interested in their personal lives. (You don't necessarily have to do that on social media; think of David Hallberg, for instance, who shares lots of interesting behind-the-scenes content about being a dancer, but never shares anything about this personal/romantic life. I think I've maybe seen photos of his family dog? And certainly many others fall into this category.) 

I'm sure sensitivity to exes could be a factor. I used to work with someone whose recent ex came out of the closet and, for reasons that aren't important to mention here, briefly became the subject of news stories (which included the information on coming out of the closet.) It was a horrible experience for all involved to have that played out in the public eye, even though there should ideally be no shame associated with coming out in this day and age.

Edited November 21, 2017 by fondoffouettes

[DC Export]

1 hour ago, Kathleen O'Connell said:

Sometimes – most times? – it's difficult to see that your own joy is nothing but a dagger in someone else's heart.

Well said, Kathleen. I have speculated that both are making an attempt to walk the fine line between respecting former spouses while still living their lives.

[abatt]

 Day and Fairchild  should only be angry at themselves for assuming that the general public was too dumb to piece together the information that they were publicly sharing with the world over a long period of time.  The ship for caring about and protecting their former spouses or others sailed long before canbelto ever re-posted their publicly available info & photos on ballet alert.  Robbie sadly missed the boat on this one.

 

 

Edited November 21, 2017 by abatt