On being called a "Groupie"

[bobbi]

Recently someone at my work place who knows of my great interest in ballet called me a Groupie. For some reason this bothers me, as I consider that term almost a pejorative one; technically, I feel the term relates to one who follows one individual dancer/singer to the exclusion of others. I will own to being a Ballet Nut, Ballet Fan, Ballet Fanatic, Balletomane (my personal favorite) but not Groupie.

I'd appreciate the thoughts on other ballet fans on this topic. At my age I shouldn't be so thin-skinned, but how do others deal with people who can't understand and/or want to denigrate one's passion for a particular art?

[perky]

When I think of the word groupie I think of the girls who hang out backstage in tiny tube tops and mini skirts at a Van Halen show in order to sleep with the band. There is a HUGE difference between a fan and a groupie.

I'm the only one in my family who grew up loving ballet. High culture in my childhood home consisted of HeeHaw and Laurence Welk. I was considered the "wierd" one for liking something as different as ballet. So Bobbie, don't pay attention to those who don't understand the allure and beauty of what you like.

[bart]

The scarey thing is when you start getting carried away describing a performance or piece of choreography to someone who could not care less, and you see his or her eyes begin to glaze over. And you still can't stop!

[Farrell Fan]

I have been known to describe myself as a Suzanne Farrell groupie. At age 73, I can get away with it. And I flatter myself that Suzanne actually likes seeing me and expects to. She has told me as much. In the instance you describe, bobbi, your co-worker probably meant it jocularly rather than pejoratively.

[Dale]

I think having a great passion for something, especially something that's considered "high art," is scary or intimidating to some people, so they try to put it down by using words such as "groupie." The same thing usually isn't applied to other passions - such as sports or a favorite TV show (this coming from a sports writer). Shrug it off. Also, as Bart notes, know your audience. I don't wax poetic about the previous night's performance to people at work who couldn't care less.

[Helene]

I think Dale hit the nail on the head: intimidation countered by a put-down. And one that isn't even used properly, since it refers to fanatic devotion to a specific performer/athlete/band/team.

[Kate Lennard]

When I think of the word groupie I think of the girls who hang out backstage in tiny tube tops and mini skirts at a Van Halen show in order to sleep with the band.

Perky,

In the late 50's I had a fling with an ASM at the Royal Opera House who I met at Covent Garden after a triple bill.

So am I in fact a ballet groupie, after all?

Kate

[carbro]

ASM, Kate? Sorry, not familiar with the acronym.

Groupie also implies an attraction of a sexual nature. Having fallen into my first serious ballet crush in my 50s , am I a ballet groupie? (I do not hang out at stage doors or follow Jose around the street).

[Helene]

I think ASM is "Assistant Stage Manager."

I don't think you'd be a ballet groupie, even if you hung around the stage door for Jose. Then you'd be a "Jose" groupie

[Kathleen O'Connell]

When I think of the word groupie I think of the girls who hang out backstage in tiny tube tops and mini skirts at a Van Halen show in order to sleep with the band.

Perky,

In the late 50's I had a fling with an ASM at the Royal Opera House who I met at Covent Garden after a triple bill.

So am I in fact a ballet groupie, after all?

Kate

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sigh … The closest I ever came to being a groupie was almost getting set up on a blind date with a guy who’d been dumped for Jorma Kaukonen. :rolleyes:

[Pamela Moberg]

Bobbi, have you taken into account that there are people (actually, there are masses of people) who suffer from a very poor vocabulary? Maybe they just thought that was the word to use. Myself, I would never use it to a balletomane or ballet fan. The word belongs strictly to pop music.

But I heard somewhere, from a rather reliable source that when one famous classical orchestra (wont say which) went on tour in a bus, there followed another busload of just "groupies". Choice of word was not appreciated by anybody.

So, just shrug it off, it just wasnt an educated thing to say.

[dirac]

Speaking for myself, I'd have to know more of the context of the remark before passing judgment on bobbi’s co-worker. Much depends on context, body language, tone of voice. As Farrell Fan says, no harm may have been intended. I would certainly hope that the co-worker intended it as a pleasantry, but you never know.

The primary definition of “groupie” as I understand it is someone, specifically a young woman, who follows a rock band around when it tours. There is usually the implication that the woman in question is available for sex. This definition has expanded to refer to performers in other fields.

And one that isn't even used properly, since it refers to fanatic devotion to a specific performer/athlete/band/team.

Not necessarily; “groupie” has taken on a secondary definition as referring to someone who is a committed and enthusiastic fan. I’ve read and heard references to a theater groupie, a fashion groupie, an art groupie.

[kfw]

technically, I feel the term relates to one who follows one individual dancer/singer to the exclusion of others.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good point, although as dirac says, the term now often has a wider meaning. Do you favor a particular ballet company? It could be you're really a troupie!

Seriously, I don't blame you for objecting to "groupie." Best of luck.

[Mashinka]

Meant in a jocular sense, I wouldn't object to the term as I think the words fan and groupie are now interchangeable. Over the years I've certainly come across groupies in the original sense of the word, and, more seriously, stalkers too. It cuts both ways though with some dancers taking a strong interest in fans as well. I remember one of those beautiful young women with whom Fonteyn used to surround herself being positively plagued by one very famous male dancer. He really made a nuisance of himself I recall.

[bobbi]

Thank you all so much for helping me get past this little incident. What hurt so much was the fact that it was said by a very intelligent attorney who is also a solid financial contributor to both NYCB and ABT, so I didn't want to make any zinger type of reply (even if I could have thought of one at the time).

However, all your comments have put the word "groupie" in perspective, and I can now let it fade into the background. Let me say also that it's so terrific to have a board such as this where I can air this incident and find that there are so many other people who can relate to it in some way. Thanks again.

[Treefrog]

This thread brings to mind the lyrics of a song by The Arrogant Worms, a Canadian humor (?) group:

"She's my creepy stalker girl

I'm the centre of her wacked out crazy and delusional world

She follows me everywhere

She's even got a bag with some bits of my hair

Just go away you creepy stalker girl "

Now THAT's a groupie! Bobbi, I have trouble seeing you in that role.

[dirac]

Now THAT's a groupie! Bobbi, I have trouble seeing you in that role.

I never thought I’d be springing to the defense of groupies, but not all of them qualify as stalkers. Some of them are rich, beautiful, and accomplished. A Beatle married one.

What hurt so much was the fact that it was said by a very intelligent attorney who is also a solid financial contributor to both NYCB and ABT.

bobbi, if he’s someone who contributes to ballet companies, perhaps he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings – just thoughtlessness, maybe.

Thanks for your kind remarks about the board, BTW.

[canbelto]

The primary definition of “groupie” as I understand it is someone, specifically a young woman, who follows a rock band around when it tours. There is usually the implication that the woman in question is available for sex.

Yes, like the movie "Almost Famous." Penny Lane and her entourage (The Band Aids) are groupies, although they object to that term for reasons that can't be discussed on this forum

Now it's common for athletes (who also travel around a lot) to have groupies.

I don't think the word for a particularly vocal enthusiast of a ballet dancer can be called a "groupie." Unless, of course, they travel with, say, ABT when it tours. I think the word is "fanatic." There's a fine line between "fan" and "fanatic" which I cant really describe except to quote the famous line about pornography: "I can't describe it, but I know it when I see it."

By as other people may have said, the term could have been used jocularly. It kind of also depends on how familiar you are with that person. If you guys are friends, I wouldn't think a thing about it -- friends tend to be more loose-lipped with each other. If you don't know this person from Adam and he calls you a "groupie" maybe you could take offense, but honestly, you don't know the person anyway, so why care what he says?

I guess what I'm saying is that there's no reason to be offended, either way.