Using Ballet To Ease Grief

[perky]

Very recently my mother passed away after a difficult illness. During those long nights when grief threatens to overwhelm me (Funny how grief seems to lie in wait for the night when your defenses are completely down and your mind seeks solace in the numbing effects of sleep), it is ballet that soothes my soul and allows my wondering mind to find peace.

If I close my eyes I start to see two Balanchine ballets, Serenade and Robert Schumann's Davidsbundlertanze. Serenade, with it's classical purity and the ending with it's dancer borne aloft toward heaven, and Davidsbundlertanze, with it's sensitive and moving depiction of love and loss. And oddly enough :shrug: , the Don Quixote grand pas de deux. In particular the Nina Ananiashvili Don Q on Essential Ballet. Thank you Nina A.

These three ballet never fail to comfort and relax me enough to eventually fall to sleep. Am I the only one this has ever happened to? Has ballet helped any of you to get through a difficult time in your life?

[Herman Stevens]

I started going to ballet performances again (after many years) after I'd been told I was going to need heart surgery or else.

[Alexandra]

One of the first stories I heard about Balanchine was that he took a friend, whose wife had just died, to see "Giselle." (I'm sure he meant to be kind!)

[Mme. Hermine]

When I'm particularly unhappy I can't look at ballet at all! It's too difficult for me anyway.

[Farrell Fan]

I've always found going to the ballet a great comfort in times of grief. This was especially true after my wife, who'd introduced me to ballet in the first place, died in 1995. In October of that year I went to Washington for "Suzanne Farrell Stages Balanchine," and because Alice had never been shy, I summoned all my courage and went backstage. Suzanne, who probably had never seen me without Alice to hold my hand and push me forward, spotted me immediately. She came over, hugged me, and said "Your girl is with Mr. B now." Then she asked if I'd like to walk her home. We walked hand in hand (it turned out "home" was across the street from my hotel) while she talked about Balanchine, Washington, the performance, and her hopes for the future. She told me she spoke to Mr. B often and suggested I do the same with Alice. I've followed her advice many times since and think of "my girl" with Mr B -- and with Lincoln, Danilova, Jerry, Tanny, Zorina, John Taras, and so many others as well.

[carbro]

When I saw the title of this thread, I immediately thought of those intense, elegiaic performances Suzanne gave in the 2nd Mvt., Symphony in C, in the days immediately following Balanchine's passing. It didn't matter whether or not she understood that the audience was looking to her crystallize our own grief, but she went directly to the pit of our hearts.

I am forever grateful for those performances.

My mother died unexpectedly at the end of January, 2001. I did not attend performances until the spring season.

One of the first stories I heard about Balanchine was that he took a friend, whose wife had just died, to see "Giselle."  (I'm sure he meant to be kind!)

Maybe, in his defense, he was thinking of the redemptive power of Love Beyond the Grave.

[perky]

Oh Dear...........Farrell Fan and Carbro, your posts brought me to bittersweet tears. Thank you

[Alexandra]

Maybe, in his defense, he was thinking of the redemptive power of Love Beyond the Grave.

Oh, yes, I'm sure! And probably for one who believes, as he once said he did, that "the real world isn't here" watching "Giselle" a few weeks after one's spouse had died would be comforting. For some, however, it might be difficult. But cathartic

I understand those who say they couldn't go to the ballet for some time after the death of a loved one. Watching comedy, or even an abstract ballet that's uplifting in tone, can be an offense -- it's hard to watch others being happy. And watching tragedy, or anything with a dark undertone, can conjure up tragic mental images.

[sandik]

This thread is making me cry. I remember when my mother died, many years ago now, I came home and listened to Beethoven's 9th -- all the way through, sitting at the kitchen table. It seems to me that big emotions need big art.