I agree with many of your points, @JuliaJ. I too was especially struck by the "really disturbing or upsetting" claim, and by the additional $200,000 ask.
Even as a non-dancer, I'm well aware that a female dancer's strength and technique are crucial to making partnering happen successfully. It's not all about a man lifting a woman's inert body, however light or heavy that body may be. Knowing that, I don't see why Ratmansky's message ("There is a lot of partnering in the piece and it should look effortless. The men were struggling.") should be read as "body shaming." It was a (presumably) factual statement about the challenges other dancers were having in partnering her.