I came across this piece the other day. I had read it previously a long time ago, I think in an anthology somewhere. It was written in 1976 but is evergreen in my book. Marshall Brickman is a funny, funny man.
Who's Who in the Cast
A
nthony Moon (Zeckendorf) was born in England and attended Eton, Wibley, and Miss Gobbet’s Academy, concluding his formal education at St. Vitus’ College, Oxford, where he studied moue under the brilliant House Beamish. His first professional job was as Obadiah in the revue A Pound of Cheese, which ran for 15 years at the Wee-Theatre-in-the-Bog, breaking all records for the West End and closing only when the cast set fire to the scenery. After joining the National Theatre, Mr. Moon was acclaimed for his performances as Rosalind in As You Like It, Monroe Parch in Parsippany Place, and Sir Giggling Fatbody in Sheridan’s The Wind-Sucker. Mr. Moon is the author of A Penn’orth of Rumply, a fantasy for “children of all ages” based on the limericks of Albert Speer, which is currently in preparation for the 1977 season. His autobiography, Stones at Eventide, was a best-seller and will be filmed by the Rank Organisation, featuring Colin Ponce and Colin Headstrong-Jones as the twin bakers.
Mishru Fek (Curley) in a long a distinguished theatrical career has appeared in over 3,000 productions from Second Avenue cabaret (Don’t Make Me Laugh, So Who Are You Kidding?, I’m Entitled, and You Should Live So Long) to regional theatre (Chaim in The Wild Mouse, Vontz in Crusts) to Broadway, where he triumphed last season as the grief-stricken father in Runteleh, the Pulitzer Prize-winning musical drawn from the life of Eddie Carmel, the Jewish giant. In recent years, Mr. Fek has divided his time between King Lear (“twice a year, rain or shine”) and Hollywood; his latest films include Blood of the Face Eaters, Nostril from Outer Space, and Monster Beach Party. His television credits include numerous specials, notably an abbreviated version of Runteleh, for which he won the coveted Emmeleh. The Department of State has engaged Mr. Fek to tour Europe with his phenomenal one-man show Jews in Motion, an entertainment based on the responsa of Chodish, the skating rabbi of Budapest.
Mary Beth Numkins (Nell Runcible) is a self-professed “stage kook” who has appeared in stock and regional theatre. Among her favorite roles are Molly in Tom O’Monaboon’s Chowder, Sally in The Misty Bog, Wendy in The Bosky Fen, Peggy in The Dusky Glen, and Polly in Poppa’s Pockmark. She appeared as Princess Tinkle-Beam in Toast and Mrs. Toast and won plaudits for her portrayal of the shepherdess in The Bleat of My Heart. She maintains that the theater is a “special, magical place made of fairy-webs and gossamer.” She lives in New York City with her cat, Mr. Cat, and George Steinbrenner.
Boyd Boyd (Second Woodcutter, Biff) was first seen in the popular Off Broadway erotic revue Full Frontal and also appeared in its sequel, Making It Big, which Mr. Boyd described as “a truth trip with some very beautiful human beings.” In a change of mood, he also created the role of the sadistic orderly in Enema. Mr. Boyd’s lack of hangups will be evident next season in the Public Theatre’s production of Nude Hobson’s Choice, to be presented “someplace outside, Queens maybe.” His hobbies are cooking with a wok and getting into people’s heads.
Lynda Bunting (Mrs. Peahen) made her theatrical debut thirty years ago in Tennessee Williams’ For the Safety of the Passengers, the Driver is Not Permitted to Change Any Bills Larger Than Five Dollars, playing the harelip to Luther Dabchick’s waterhead. After a hiatus of 28 years, she returned to Broadway last season in the revival of Perfervid Desires, which closed during the first act, although the critics were unanimous about her performance. This marks Miss Bunting’s first appearance in the legitimate theater without a mobcap.
Rene Catafalque (Beggars, Whores, Townspeople)
To act is to be;
To be is merely to seem.
The truth is a hat.
— Hans Ekhardt
O'Bob Macvout (Director) trained at LAMDA and the Yale Drama School under Fleming Pease, directing revue and cabaret (Redoubtable Antics of ’62, Arty-Tarty). After a spell in television, he directed the wildly successful nature film, Ring of Bright Beavers (“Vapid family fun! Non-threatening!”—L.A. Times), which grossed $600 million worldwide and won him three Oscars, two Patsys, and the Distinguished Flying Cross. Last season he directed Sir Henry Wolfsbane in the highly acclaimed R.S.C. production of Congreve’s Pox; or The Traducer Traduced, which won both the Drama Circle Critics Citation Prize Award and the Award Circle Drama Critics Prize Citation.
Leon Matrix (Sets and Lighting) is one of our most versatile designers, whose work ranges form the long-running Leafy Green Vegetables to the costumes for Mary’s Nose. Trained under Schlemmer and Gropius, he did pioneering work at both the Bauhaus and the Bauwauhaus, the avant-garde Theater for Hounds he designed for Piscator in Berlin. More recently, he won the rarely awarded Mortimer for Roach! the musical version of Kafka’s Metamorphosis, which will be presented on Broadway next season by David Merrick. He is four feel tall.
Arnold Batfish (Author) spent several years as an advertising copywriter and burst upon the theatrical scene with a cathartic evening on one-acters Spearmint, Doublemint, and Excremint, which won him both a Nudlicer and a Peavy. His dental trilogy, Drill, Fill, and Rinse, Please, was hailed as the finest American dental writing in 50 years and was compared to Gogol’s The Overbite and Sophocles’ Oedipus in Pyorrhea. Mr. Batfish resides with his wife, Laura, and her wife, Leslie, at Nutmeat College, North Carolina, where he holds the Robert Goulet Chair of Dramaturgy.
Ahmet Ergotamine (Producer) has been represented on Broadway by Goodbye, My Toes and the smash hit musical Morons Over Manhattan, currently in its third season. In association with Max Rubric he produced The Man in the Paper Pants and The Smell of Shapiro for the Collaid Centre Theatre Group in Los Angeles. Mr. Ergotamine’s reputation as a promotional genius dates from 1950, when he employed a chimpanzee in a miter to unicycle through the theatre district to publicize his knockabout ridiculous farce, Bishopsapoppin! His innovative all-black production of The Dance of Death was followed by an equally successful all-male-Pakistani Riders to the Sea and an all-parrot Importance of Being Earnest. Next spring, he will produce Death of a Salesman in New Orleans with everyone (cast and audience) wearing giant papier-måché Mardi Gras heads, borrowed from the Grand Krewe of the Knights of Toulouse.
