Worst Musical Pantomimes in Movies

[Davidsbündlertänze]

After watching dozens of clips from vintage Sesame Street & the muppet show, I was impressed with how realistic those

muppets looked when they sang & played instruments (ex. "Letter B", "Country Gardens", etc...) The puppeteers really did an excellent job: they should have coached the following actors:

Adrien Brody - THE PIANIST

"I'll just wiggle my fingers near the top of the keyboard when the music gets high..." But it's more than the fingers, of course.

Romain Duris - THE BEAT THAT MY HEART SKIPPED

He's worse than Brody.

All the actors in THE RED VIOLIN

ugh, impersonations of violinists!! what a nightmare!! And the movie itself was awful.

There's a problem when purple and green puppets look more human playing musical instruments than humans, no??

The BEST ones I've seen:

Helena Bonham-Carter - A ROOM WITH A VIEW

She looks like she can really play the piano. But later I found out she never touched a piano until she was coached for the film. Amazing!

Hugh Grant - IMPROMPTU

Grant as Chopin: I also thought he must have been an amateur pianist possibly. Nope - he never took piano lessons either. But in the film, when Chopin plays one of his etudes, Grant totally looks like he's performing it. Not a fan of the film itself though.

Geoffrey Rush - SHINE

Well, nothing to say except amazing & totally believable. His academy award was well deserved.

This is a brief list because I try to avoid films about musicians (I'd rather watch the real thing). But I'm interested in your picks for the worst (and best?)

[miliosr]

Susan Hayward in Valley of the Dolls -- terrible lip-synching during her big musical number (the one where she looks like she's fighting her way through a Calder mobile.)

[Paul Parish]

That guy who played Ray Charles in the movie really looked like he was really playing and singing -- eh even looked like Ray CHARLES singing. Actually, you could believe he was Ray Charles LISTENING to the music, he was that good.

[papeetepatrick]

Susan Hayward in Valley of the Dolls -- terrible lip-synching during her big musical number (the one where she looks like she's fighting her way through a Calder mobile.)

Of course, but at least that went with the rest of the mess. I just remembered a TV movie bio of Rosemary Clooney with Sondra Locke, who was even more horrible than usual--coarse, vulgar and a total sell-out--since she'd started off very promisingly in 'the Heart is a Lonely Hunter' before her dreadful onscreen collaboration with Clint Eastwood.

[Mel Johnson]

Something to remember about the muppeteers: A lot of them were musicians first, before they started working with Jim Henson, who was himself a musician. No wonder they got the moves right!

[papeetepatrick]

All the actors in THE RED VIOLIN

ugh, impersonations of violinists!! what a nightmare!! And the movie itself was awful.

Agree, one of the most horrible things I've ever seen, but I'm only talking about the 45 minutes I kept it on.

Hugh Grant - IMPROMPTU Grant as Chopin: I also thought he must have been an amateur pianist possibly. Nope - he never took piano lessons either. But in the film, when Chopin plays one of his etudes, Grant totally looks like he's performing it. Not a fan of the film itself though.

I'm sltightly annoyed to learn of this, because now I feel the need to see it--because you've no idea how hard a time I have imagining it.

Another arms waving all around the keyboard is Ingrid Bergman in 'Intermezzo'. But it never seems to be as offensive in the old things.

Best is when real pianists are used for the playing parts as in 'merci pour le chocolat', 'the piano teacher', and 'un coeur en hiver' (which is beautiful, and in the period when Beart and Auteuil, one of my favourite actors, were married)

Would agree about 'The Piano', but didn't care too much because the sound of the music itself was torture enough. Now THAT definitely belongs in the Overrated Movies, and I think I saw it there.

[dirac]

I’m not really qualified to comment here, but I liked Katharine Hepburn’s playing in “Song of Love.” She’s hardly my idea of Clara Schumann, but it looked as if she’d put some effort into replicating the style of play that was current then.

I agree about Hugh Grant in Impromptu. The movie itself, directed by James Lapine, is hopelessly twee and affected, although Judy Davis was fine as George Sand and Grant is a very sweet Chopin.

Another arms waving all around the keyboard is Ingrid Bergman in 'Intermezzo'. But it never seems to be as offensive in the old things.

Yes, because the context isn’t really serious. I thought she’d improved in ‘Autumn Sonata.’

Lip-synching is a slightly different if related issue - it's come up several times on various movie musical threads.

[Davidsbündlertänze]

papeetepatrick Posted Jun 8 2008, 09:35 PM:

All the actors in THE RED VIOLIN

ugh, impersonations of violinists!! what a nightmare!! And the movie itself was awful.

Agree, one of the most horrible things I've ever seen, but I'm only talking about the 45 minutes I kept it on.

I rented it from Netflix, so I felt obligated to finish it...to the bitter bitter end. When it was all over, I pumped my fists into the air in victory: "Hooray! It didn't kill me!" But I remember saying to my friend, as a joke, when the film started: "I bet the 'Red' is ketchup." And I was right! (Ok, it's not really ketchup, but I don't want to spoil it for those who haven't seen it yet.)

Would agree about 'The Piano', but didn't care too much because the sound of the music itself was torture enough. Now THAT definitely belongs in the Overrated Movies, and I think I saw it there.

I've never seen THE PIANO, actually. Is that the one with Michael Nyman's music?

Another bad example I forgot to mention: David Thewlis in BESIEGED. He's one of my favorite actors, but he really screwed up what should have been a tremendous scene. Such a letdown! It's still a favorite film of mine, though.

[Davidsbündlertänze]

Thanks to everyone who responded!

1) I haven't seen RAY yet - I'm putting it on my list of things to watch.

2) muppets and muppeteers - I didn't know Henson and co. were musicians!! Sehr interessant!

3) Valley of the Dolls - Haven't seen this either, but I've heard of it. Isn't it a Corman film written by Ebert?

3) a person doesn't have to be qualified to comment - you know bad impersonations when you see them!

[dirac]

I thought “Ray” was entertaining but not much more than that. Many people liked it much, much better than I did. Jamie Foxx was good.

I've never seen THE PIANO, actually. Is that the one with Michael Nyman's music?

“The Piano” did have a score by Nyman, which was a huge seller at the time. The movie was indeed overrated but at the time it was something different and interesting.

Another bad example I forgot to mention: David Thewlis in BESIEGED. He's one of my favorite actors, but he really screwed up what should have been a tremendous scene. Such a letdown! It's still a favorite film of mine, though.

That’s a good movie. I came across it by accident on cable and wondered why I hadn’t heard of it before. Thandie Newton is good, too.

I thought John Garfield sawed away at his violin with reasonable conviction in Humoresque.

There’s another movie, “Deception,” with Bette Davis, Paul Henreid, and Claude Rains, a nutty melodrama that I liked a lot. It has a memorable Korngold score. Rains is a composer and Henreid is a cellist. I think Davis is a pianist. Unfortunately, I haven’t seen it for years and can’t recall anything about their playing, although I remember Henreid looking pretty good at his cello. I’ll have to track it down and see it again.

[Anthony_NYC]

I thought John Garfield sawed away at his violin with reasonable conviction in Humoresque.

Actually, if you watch closely you'll notice that many shots are over Garfield's shoulder. Two professional violinists, one on the fingerboard and one with the bow, kind of slung their arms around the actor from behind, and the camera was positioned so as to give the illusion the arms and hands are Garfield's. Rumor has it the bow arm belonged to none other than Isaac Stern (who plays on the soundtrack).

[miliosr]

davidsbundlertanze -- The Corman/Ebert Valley is the "sequel".

The original Valley Of the Dolls stars Barbara Parkins, Patty Duke and Sharon Tate as three starlets who seek fame and fortune in show business but find heartbreak, drug and alcohol addiction and death instead. Susan Hayward also stars as Helen Lawson, a tough-as-nails Broadway musical star (clearly based on Ethel Merman.)

The movie is very melodramatic and downright ridiculous at times but the more melodramatic and ridiculous it gets the better you'll like it.

[dirac]

I thought John Garfield sawed away at his violin with reasonable conviction in Humoresque.

Actually, if you watch closely you'll notice that many shots are over Garfield's shoulder. Two professional violinists, one on the fingerboard and one with the bow, kind of slung their arms around the actor from behind, and the camera was positioned so as to give the illusion the arms and hands are Garfield's. Rumor has it the bow arm belonged to none other than Isaac Stern (who plays on the soundtrack).

Interesting. I didn't know that. Now that I think about it, he is shot mostly from behind.