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Giselle from Hell


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#46 LaFilleMalGardee

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Posted 22 March 2002 - 09:50 PM

I cannot make up a "worse" or funnier Giselle than everyone else has! smile.gif But here is my version:
Giselle and Hilarion are neighbors, and both of their families have farms. They start going out. Then one day Giselle brings her fruits and vegetables to the market. She meets a fisherman named Albrecht who is selling his fish. Giselle and Albrecht fall in love. Hilarion is suspicious so he starts spying on Giselle. Giselle and Albrecht have to meet secretly at the market. Then Hilarion takes Giselle to catch fish on the lake. Giselle starts dancing on the boat. Hilarion and Bathilde team up and spot them. They row the boat closer and closer to Giselle and Albrecht's boat. Hilarion and Bathilde bump into their boat and Giselle falls off! Maybe into the orchestra pit! smile.gif

#47 LaFilleMalGardee

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Posted 24 March 2002 - 03:20 PM

No, I haven't heard of that story.

Okay, here is some more interesting stuff I can add to what I said before;)

The

Dairy Queen

(who has a tutu in the shape of a block of cheese) takes out a chart and points out that there is not enough protein in the fish that Albrecht sold. But she was really just trying to get him back for selling her a bad fish when she was alive. The dairy fairies (who are wearing white tutus and have white mustaches. got milk?) agree.
But morning comes too soon and the Dairy Queen and fairies have to disapear.

#48 Yvonne

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Posted 24 February 2001 - 12:17 PM

Regarding the Nureyev version, I think maybe he will keep ALL of Giselle's variations in, but have Albrecht dance those too (in drag), in addition to his own!

#49 Drew

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Posted 23 February 2001 - 12:40 PM

Cargill -- lesbian or not, I think a Giselle in which the two wronged women decide, 'who needs this jerk?' and then run off together sounds just fine...Think -- Thelma and Louise on pointe.

#50 mussel

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Posted 26 February 2002 - 01:56 AM

I like liebling’s idea of Wall Street wilis. Here’s how the story goes:

Albrecht is a star Wall Street analyst who has a mansion in the Hamptons as his summer home. Giselle has a family farm where she and her family grow heirloom tomatoes and organic baby greens for the local trendy restaurants. Hilarion, who has a crush on her, is a farmer for a local vineyard.

Giselle meets Albrecht while she's selling her fresh organic produce at a green market. They immediately fall in love. Hilarion, either out of jealousy or instinct, warns her that Albrecht not to be trusted. One day Albrecht tells her of a tremendous investment opportunity, she loves and trusts him so much that she mortgages her family farm and asks him to invest for her. So he invests all her and her family savings in Enron.

While Enron stock keeps nose-diving, Albrecht assures Giselle the stock will make a big comeback. The day Enron files for bankruptcy protection, she rushes to his Wall Street corner office only to find him kissing Bathilde. Balthilde proceeds to tell Giselle that they’re engaged. Being betrayed by Albrecht and her life saving’s down the drain, she rushes out of the office running around Wall Street. He goes after her and finds her on top of Federal Hall’s tall and steep stairs right across from the New York Stock Exchange and she throws herself down the stairs and dies.

Few days later around midnight, Hilarion goes to steps of Federal Hall to lay down some flowers and candles only to be confronted by the Wall Street wilis. It turns out Myrtha, the head wilis was a victim of the 1929 market collapse, several wilis were victims of saving and loan scandal in the 80’s, some were victims of Michael Milken’s junk bond scandal, some of penny stock schemes, some of the dot com bubble burst.

The wilis forces Hilarion to dance. Just before he runs of breath he fells into an uncovered manhole and breaks his neck. It all looks like an accident.

An hour later, after a long day of work, Albrecht comes out of his office building and as he walks in front of Federal Hall, he’s confronted by the wilies…… You all know how the rest of the story goes.

#51 mussel

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Posted 27 February 2002 - 01:16 AM

To continue on with the Wall Street Wilis with a twist of art imitating life imitating art, a ballet within a ballet:

Myrtha and the wilis think Albrecht got off too easily. In an attempt to humiliate Albrecht, they make him dance in front of a Very Important Potential Client, thinking that’d baffle the client.

It backfires.

Unbeknown to the wilies, that Very Important Potential Client turns out to be Kevin Mackenzie, who is considering having Albrecht manage ABT’s endowment, which was recently enriched by a huge donation from Alberto Vilar. Mr. Mackenzie is so impressed with Albrecht’s dancing that not only seals the deal, he even invites Albrecht for an audition for the role of Albright in a new production of “Giselle” which is set in modern day Wall Street. Albrecht accepts the invitation.

Realizing that he can’t dance without the magical power of the wilies, he makes a deal with them where he’ll pay up all their losses plus interest to their families and descendants. He’ll also make substantial periodic donations to their favorite charity, Women Against Two-Timers or WATTs (ironically which is exactly what Enron used to produce.)

With the help of the wilis, he lands the part of Albright.

So on the Met stage, there’d be 2 sets of wilis. One from Wall Street helping Albrecht dance, the other from ABT corps playing the Wall Street wilis.

Not only the Wall Street wilis turn Albrecht into an overnight sensation, their magical power spills over to other dancers too. The new production is a tremendous success; the house is full night after night.

#52 mbjerk

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Posted 24 February 2001 - 03:09 PM

Can I forward the idea to Jerry Springer? Sounds like a prime time special for UPN during sweeps week.

#53 BalletNut

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Posted 23 February 2001 - 01:25 PM

With respect to the score, I'd set it to 80s music--how perfect is "Total Eclipse of the Heart" All of the dancers would wear sequined spandex, and those pointe-sneakers in lieu of pointe shoes.

[This message has been edited by BalletNut (edited February 23, 2001).]

#54 BalletNut

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Posted 25 February 2001 - 06:38 PM

How about a helicopter? [it worked for Miss Saigon]

#55 Siren

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Posted 23 February 2001 - 12:37 PM

Giselle choreographed by David Bintley a la Edward II!

Now that gives me the wilis....

#56 Siren

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Posted 23 February 2001 - 12:44 PM

I love it, Thelma and Louise on point! Great!

Also, the Nuryeve version: all Giselle variations are taken out and replaced with Albrecht versions... Albrecht gets the bouquet during the village festival.

#57 Siren

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Posted 25 February 2001 - 02:44 PM

Wow, these have been some interesting posts. And a lot of fun to read!

This definitely qualifies under "anything goes"...

#58 leibling

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Posted 25 February 2001 - 10:42 PM

or Wilis on Wall St. ...

#59 leibling

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Posted 27 February 2001 - 10:24 PM

Back to the convoluted family theme- someone mentioned Myrtha as Albrecht's mother... well if his father was a philanderer, perhaps he had an affair with Giselle's mother, therefore making Giselle Albrecht's half sister !!!

#60 leibling

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Posted 28 February 2002 - 09:11 PM

Have you ever thought of writing librettos for ballets? This is terrific...


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