Fairies for THIS MODERN ERA!

[Hans]

Mme. Hermine, I would kill to see Stacey and Clinton miming things like "vertical stripes make you look thinner" and "girlfriend, orange and purple do NOT go together!" (two snaps).

Maybe it could be expanded to a full ballet--I'm seeing a Dance of the Pointy-toed Manolos (a distant relative of Ashton's clog dance from La Fille Mal Gardée) as well as a scene taking place in that octagonal mirrored room (and you thought having just one big mirror at the front of the studio was frightening!). And of course at the end, a general dance with the made-over person's joyous friends and relatives with a set of divertissements.

The best part, of course, is that we could get this ballet sponsored by fashion designers instead of cigarette companies.

[Mme. Hermine]

well then perhaps we could cast the variations differently too; for instance, how about Red Riding Hood Betsey Johnson being chased by Isaac Mizrahi the Wolf?

[bart]

Re: the Fairy of Mid-Performance Program Perusal. I confess to the urge to be transformed into one of those occasionally. Why can't management raise the lights on programs of several short dances (with no interval), so you can see what's coming up next?

If they don't, some of us risk being turned into the terrible Fairy of the Pen-sized Flashlight.

[Hans]

well then perhaps we could cast the variations differently too; for instance, how about Red Riding Hood Betsey Johnson being chased by Isaac Mizrahi the Wolf?

Yes! And we could have Tom Ford as Puss 'N Boots (you know how he's always fondling the White Cat).

I think that Robin Givhan (fashion reporter for the Washington Post) should be represented among the wedding guests in Act III.

Bart, I agree with you about raising the lights between separate ballets for a moment--it's not easy to remember the title, dancers, and program notes of three (or more) different pieces all at once. I was thinking more of people who simply must read their programs while the dancers are performing.

[Mme. Hermine]

I think the Canary Fairy ought to be replaced by the Candy Wrapper Fairy, myself... given the steps as they are now, you could stick brightly colored candy wrappers to her fingers and she could spend the variation trying to shake them off! Genius..if I do say so myself.

And then of course, to be topical, given his recent television appearances, we could have Puss'n'Boots Tom Cruise chasing Katie Holmes the White Cat, followed by the Fairy of Scientology!!!

[Hans]

I suddenly had a vision of W.C. Fields as the Ogre in the Hop o' My Thumb (Pas Berrichon) variation.

How about a PETA Fairy? She could have a celery stick for a wand and a tutu made only of organic fibers. This variation would be a special challenge to perform, as the dancer would have to keep her mouth open the entire time, lecturing everyone (particularly the king regarding those ermine robes) and there would be much hostility between her and the F--- You Fairy regarding the latter's Humvee.

[Paul Parish]

Hans, the muse has descended on you this time

yes, o yes,wc Fields as the ogre -

-- that's great, totally visionary

[Leigh Witchel]

Related to Hans' original concept for the fashion fairy, but we might as well have the fairies of Sponsorship and Product Placement.

The Fairy of Sponsorship: This Variation made possible by ExxonMobil.

The Product Placement fairy would walk around the set with a clipboard, checking the end tables to make sure Reese's Pieces were displayed clearly (but not too obviously) in bowls. She would give Aurora a fabulous gift basket of baby items from Pottery Barn, Aveeda and Baby Gap. You can find shopping information in your programs. The backdrop of the castle would be a window, looking out to a view over golden arches in the distance.

[Hans]

Leigh, your fairies (aside from making me laugh silently here in my cubicle) made me wonder whether that dancer (was it Cynthia Gregory?) who smoked a cigarette during her Grand Pas Classique variation was ever contacted by Virginia Slims (or whatever her preferred brand was). Not that I favor smoking, but imagine the ads!

[Paul Parish]

Leigh, you're smoking!!!

WHAT are you smoking?

[sandik]

These remind me of the Fairy of the Mid-Performance Program Perusal--so caught up in trying to figure out what's going on that she misses all the action and annoys the entire court with her mini flashlight in the process. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The Fairy of the Mid-Performance Program Perusal with her cavalier, the Blackberry masquerading as a flashlight.

[Helene]

As a marketing ploy to bring in younger fans, there would be

The iPod Fairy

The "Whatever" Fairy

The Master of Ceremonies would be renamed, "Talk to the Hand."

[Mme. Hermine]

There could be naming rights for the castle (a la baseball fields)!

Then of course there's the reality show where the audience gets to vote on whether Aurora marries the Prince or runs off with the Wolf...

[Hans]

Ok, I have to admit to owning an iPod. (I love it!)

If Aurora runs off with the Big Bad Wolf, does Prince Desire get to go after Princess Florine?

[Helene]

Ok, I have to admit to owning an iPod.  (I love it!) 

So do I, but if anyone knew, iPods would become unfashionable very quickly

[Tiffany]

And then you could have the jewels sponsored by Tiffany & Co., Cartier, DeBeers, etc.

Aurora also needs a therapist/Fairy of Advice to guide her decisions about whether she should stick with Prince Desire or go for the Wolf or maybe even the Bluebird!! I guess the Lilac Fairy is supposed to fill this role, but I don't know if she is pointing out all of Aurora's options!

[Hans]

Tiffany, having the fairies of the precious stones and metals sponsored by jewelers is brilliant! However, we might have to alter the Diamond Fairy's variation to suit De Beers--it would have to last forever.

When Tiffany's sponsors them, I think Bravo should do a Sunday morning TV show about it called--you guessed it--Breakfast with the Arts at Tiffany's! Picture your ballerina of choice saying, "A girl just cahn't dahnce at the Met with a green face, dahling."