My Use of Simile Sucks As Bad As the River Tide
Now, I may be as pessimistic as a cucumber, but my similes are sorely lacking. But believe you me, it's not from lack of trying! I spout off more similes than a one-legged dog in a haystack, but as sure as China, they always seem to fall flat. To tell it plain, my similes are confusing as the day is wrong, as disappointing as two peas in a pigsty, and more obscure than Kenneth from marketing (the guy who's as big as a thing that's six-feet-tall and 200 pounds). All in all, they're not good.