I have been "dancing" for the last 5 months after a 23 year break. I don't feel like I am "dancing" though as I still feel rather self-conscious a lot of the time in class. Because I don't feel like I am "dancing", I ask myself every day, why am I taking ballet again? Afterall, it is expensive and uncomfortable a lot of the time. (I am always sore after class!!) What am I getting out of this? Do I do it for the exercise? No. That is definately not it. I am a fitness instructor (part-time now) and I am both aerobically fit and strength-fit from other programmes. I do not need ballet for exercise. Even my flexibility is good without ballet...
If I am honest, I do not say to myself "I need to dance"... and yet, when enchainments in the centre come together for me I get a huge thrill! Wow - is that really me getting the steps, arms and head movements all working together? Is that really me DANCING!! Yes, that is a thrill! But I also get a thrill when I see myself in a static balletic pose. I have spent sooooo many years feeding my ballet hunger looking at pictures in books. I get a kick out of a dancer's beautiful physical line without the movement to music! I can enjoy the physical strength, flexibility, turnout, line, extension, whatever as well as expression, dramatic lighting, a sumptuous costume etc etc.
To come back to the original question - why do I dance? There are many reasons it seems. And I am proud that I finally got up the courage to go back to ballet classes. And I am always proud to tell people that I "do" ballet. I wish I felt proud of my "performance" in class more often (*LOL*) but I know I can only improve!!
Sorry to ramble. I hope what I have written here makes sense...
Podiumstar
