Gelsey Kirkland's "Dancing on my Grave"

[canbelto]

There is one sad but probably all-too-true in Villella's "Prodigal Son" about Kirkland and Bissell. One night after a performance with Villella somewhere Bissell and Kirkland stayed after the performance and downed a bottle of vodka together. When they ran out they broke into the stage manager's office and got another bottle. They then downed what Villella euphemistically calls "controlled substances." Kirkland wandered off, and a very intoxicated Bissell slashed his wrists, which earned him a trip to the hospital. The next day they danced beautifully.

To me, that kind of story deserves pity, and not hatred. Beauty and talented wasted.

[Mel Johnson]

I still think that Baryshnikov got the best retribution at least in the Art of the Bon Mot:

"Kiss and tell is one thing, f*** and publish, that's another!"

[dirac]

Twyla Tharp gave his performance in the sack a rave review in her own memoir. I imagine they're still speaking.

[papeetepatrick]

There is one sad but probably all-too-true in Villella's "Prodigal Son" about Kirkland and Bissell. One night after a performance with Villella somewhere Bissell and Kirkland stayed after the performance and downed a bottle of vodka together. When they ran out they broke into the stage manager's office and got another bottle. They then downed what Villella euphemistically calls "controlled substances." Kirkland wandered off, and a very intoxicated Bissell slashed his wrists, which earned him a trip to the hospital. The next day they danced beautifully.

To me, that kind of story deserves pity, and not hatred. Beauty and talented wasted.

Not even pity (well, the whole syndrome of substance abuse, yes, of course, but not applied to this performance exactly), much less hatred. While not recommended by any means (even if you're not performing), but it's, in fact, extremely impressive. Of course, in the long run 'beauty and talent wasted' is correct, but in the short run it gives an extraordinary insight into talent and professionalism. I do wonder what the 'danced beautifully' looked like, though, because it was probably at least different (unless the vodka and pills were every day) from the norm. Canbelto, did it say anything about that specific performance, other than that it was 'beautiful'? I imagine that this has been many times the cause of something in a performance that seemed 'off', although the reason not having been known to the viewer, even if this one happened to have been inspired. They would still have been high somewhat, of course, and obviously the wrist-slashing would have been pretty superficial.

[Helene]

Twyla Tharp gave his performance in the sack a rave review in her own memoir. I imagine they're still speaking.

Lynn Seymour gave an after-glowy review of Martins' in her memoir, but, again, that wasn't Kirkland's complaint.

[dirac]

Twyla Tharp gave his performance in the sack a rave review in her own memoir. I imagine they're still speaking.

Lynn Seymour gave an after-glowy review of Martins' in her memoir, but, again, that wasn't Kirkland's complaint.

I was commenting on the "f___ and publish" remark Mel had just posted.

[Ray]

Just another note: though Bissell and Kirkland are the most frequently singled out examples of drug abuse casualties of the eighties they were not alone. Probably the most prominent and the most tragic but cocaine was big back then and lots of people in the dance world were using. However, it was made to seem that Patrick and Gelsey were the unfortunate exceptions to the rule and not part of a larger trend. Susan Jaffe has admitted in interviews that she had a brush with drug addiction very early in her career but the Gelsey example likely forced her to clean up her act sooner rather than later.

Too true. There's a larger account yet to be written about drug use and ballet, especially in the 1980s.

[canbelto]

Not to mention alcoholism. The most famous example being, probably, the universally beloved Erik Bruhn. Yuri Soloviev as well.

[papeetepatrick]

I knew a group of dancers in the early 70s who were stoned on grass all the time (including when they danced), and dropped a lot of acid. They were not also drinkers, though. They were well-known in New York, and include some famous names still. I don't think think it affected the quality of dancing in their case, since the whole company seemed to be at ease with it, and one became one of the greatest dancers in another company (although after that, I don't know what their drug habits were, but there weren't any breakdowns). Artists in the late 60s and early 70s were still using certain drugs as part of their creative processes, and these I'm talking about could certainly 'hold their pot', didn't had bad acid trips, etc. I thought this very interesting, because I certainly did not have a tolerance for these substances, although I tried some of them. It could be different with modern and ballet dancers, although one of these I refer to was trained as a ballerina, and did things like 'Coppellia' with other companies. I think there was some writing about Martha Graham having a drinking period, some critic said something about her even 'dancing when she was so drunk she nearly fell off the stage', but another dancer I knew didn't know much about this. She obviously got over it, though.

Then there's just debauchery, which will often include many drugs, although I don't know if kavanaugh mentioned anything during her catalog of Nureyev misdemeanours.

[Helene]

And then there's just self-medication.

[Ray]

I knew a group of dancers in the early 70s who were stoned on grass all the time (including when they danced), and dropped a lot of acid. They were not also drinkers, though. They were well-known in New York, and include some famous names still. I don't think think it affected the quality of dancing in their case, since the whole company seemed to be at ease with it, and one became one of the greatest dancers in another company (although after that, I don't know what their drug habits were, but there weren't any breakdowns). [...]

Yes, I always found it amazing how some of the dancers I knew could work stoned, high, tripping, on no sleep b/c of being out all night. And many of them were forces of nature onstage. Perhaps part of it was that they were all so young....

[carbro]

I am stunned, stunned, as I recall an interview with Grace Slick. Grace did not deny using drugs. She did deny ever performing in anything but a cold-sober condition. Otherwise, she couldn't hear the music properly. And she wasn't moving around, doing potentially dangerous things in slippery, satin pointe shoes.

[dirac]

Hmmm... that may have been true for Slick, but it certainly hasn't been true for a host of pop stars past and present. Martin Scorsese had to do some judicious cutting to ensure that a certain eminent rock star featured in The Last Waltz didn't have a big cocaine drip coming out of his nose, to take only one example. Being high doesn't necessarily make you non-functioning, especially when you're younger.

There's self medication, there's debauchery, there's having a good night out...there are many different ways and degrees of drug use as there are of drinking.

[Mashinka]

Then there's just debauchery, which will often include many drugs, although I don't know if kavanaugh mentioned anything during her catalog of Nureyev misdemeanours.

I think you'll find that drugs were the one 'misdemeanour' that Nureyev was never guilty of, he seemed to have a complete aversion to the drug scene. All the Nureyev biographers and commenters seem agreed on that.

[papeetepatrick]

I think you'll find that drugs were the one 'misdemeanour' that Nureyev was never guilty of, he seemed to have a complete aversion to the drug scene. All the Nureyev biographers and commenters seem agreed on that.

Thanks for that, Mashinka, and that makes it all the more complex. Because the dancers I knew who used drugs quite freely were themselves, on the other hand, not nearly so promiscuous as Nureyev was. They were even faithful to their lovers, etc. They were not, however, using cocaine, which does seem to be the one that has caused the most trouble with some dancers, or it has been publicized as such the most. And it always has to do with the physiological and mental makeup of the person--which is why I never used LSD even though offered it me by one of these people (although they didn't insist on it), because I thought it would be terrifying for things to seem to change that much. What has always interested me, though, is people who don't seem stoned, who you can't even tell are high. They don't change at all after smoking, but someone like Kirkland who had a lot of problems was bound to have the most serious reactions. And someone mentioned Jaffe, I hadn't known she'd ever had a brush with drugs. I would imagine the discipline of a ballet dancer will usually allow them to limit the damage, and stop using, because they already have support from what they are doing, by its very disciplined nature. So that real breakdowns and overuse are probably the exception rather than the rule among dancers who have experimented.

[Hans]

There goes the myth of the nunlike ballet dancer, sacrificing all for art.

I'm curious as to how one trusts a partner who is high--pas de deux work can be very tricky and often dangerous.

[Quiggin]

I think cocaine use was pretty widespread--and very "ok" white collar--in the seventies. It was "safer" than amphetamines, the use of which was on the wane by then. Before this therapists and doctors used to prescribe Dexadrine, dexamil (with miltown to take off the edge) for depression--or as "mood elevators", and that spilled over to all sorts of illegal versions. All of those drugs, cocaine and amphetamines and quaaludes--and even LSD--had a brief period as a tool for doctors and then a long underground afterlife.

In the late forties wasn't benzedrine sold over the counter, like NoDoze, so truckdrivers could drive all night? In my liner notes somewhere, the writer remembers seeing Charlie Parker pouring Bennies from a bottle into a cup of coffee just before a recording session in Los Angeles (which may have led to his "Relaxing at Camarillo").

So dancers weren't alone in this, and as Patrick says sometimes--maybe most of the time--drug use becomes self-limiting. And "promiscuity" too.

[Ray]

There goes the myth of the nunlike ballet dancer, sacrificing all for art.

I'm curious as to how one trusts a partner who is high--pas de deux work can be very tricky and often dangerous.

Well, to assume to speak for my ballet sisters, how do you trust a partner who is obtuse and unmusical but there 'cause he's nice eye candy (or as Maria Tallcheif used to call it, enraptured by a strong jawline, "poetic" and "vulnerable")? Some of the drug-using dancers I'm thinking of--of course this doesn't mean all of them, nor am I endorsing drug use--were better high than many at their sober best.

[bart]

There goes the myth of the nunlike ballet dancer, sacrificing all for art.

[Helene]

The novices were the teenagers with their mothers in tow. I believe Tchinarova said there were eight Mamas on the Bellet Russe tours.

[Hans]

Well, to assume to speak for my ballet sisters, how do you trust a partner who is obtuse and unmusical but there 'cause he's nice eye candy (or as Maria Tallcheif used to call it, enraptured by a strong jawline, "poetic" and "vulnerable")? Some of the drug-using dancers I'm thinking of--of course this doesn't mean all of them, nor am I endorsing drug use--were better high than many at their sober best.

Naturally one is expected to do one's best with the partner one is given, however skilled. That includes being respectful enough (of the partner, audience, director, and art form) to be sober while working with them. This isn't confined to men--I certainly wouldn't want to have to partner a lady who murders me with her chemically-assisted port de bras or other movement, whether the critics are in raptures or not.

[cubanmiamiboy]

Something that I remember the most about Kirkland's tales is her questioning of the "don't ask don't tell" mantra within ABT's directives on the drug issue back on her days, as well as the lack of resources or helping mechanisms available to addict dancers due to the unwillingness to acknowledge the problem. She also wondered, as well as i do, if written policies related to this are being implemented nowadays, or if official medical help-(Company Primary Health Care Providers)-is available for those in need.

[Ray]

[...]--I certainly wouldn't want to have to partner a lady who murders me with her chemically-assisted port de bras or other movement, whether the critics are in raptures or not.

Speaking of being murdered by chemicals, remind me one day to tell the story of partnering the ballerina who went on a millet-only (whole grain, natch) diet for a month...

[FauxPas]

Robert La Fosse's autobiography "Nothing to Hide" shows the partner's view of working with the using Gelsey Kirkland. They were rehearsing "Giselle" together. He describes her looking unattractive - disheveled with a puffy face. She seemed sullen and withdrawn as I remember, having difficulty communicating her ideas. Evidently they had trouble establishing any kind of rapport which Gelsey alludes to as well in her book describing him as immature (also missing the sexual chemistry that Misha brought to the table). The rehearsal process was difficult - La Fosse describes Kirkland as being a dead weight when he had to do the Act II lifts but onstage they looked lovely with her body draped in a long line but not so lovely on his shoulders and back. Anyway, La Fosse didn't have fun partnering Gelsey at the period in her life when she was on drugs.

[Hans]

Ray, that does sound unfortunate, to put it politely.

Re: the lifts in Giselle, I don't entirely blame Kirkland--the technique for those lifts is similar to that used for the lifts in Les Sylphides. The woman must not jump at all; the man must lift her as "dead weight" because otherwise she ends up looking heavy, and it spoils the illusion of weightlessness. However, it is quite hard on the man.