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Ballet Relationship Advice

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This topic is a spin-off from Treefrog's topic on the Chicago advice columnist who gave Giselle relationship advice on how to deal with Albrecht:

Dear Amy: I'm an Austrian peasant girl who likes to dance. I recently met this terrific "peasant" guy named Albrecht. We really hit it off, but it turns out he's really a count who's engaged to a duke's daughter. . .

Dear Giselle: What is it with all of you tragic heroines? Not a week goes by that I don't hear from one or another of your ballet-worthy girlfriends.

I'm going to tell you what I told Juliet Capulet and Odette when they approached me with their baroque and tragic troubles: Simplify.

OK, here goes: You're an advice columnist like Amy, or Ann Landers, or Dear Abby, or, heck, Miss Manners. A character from a ballet--say, La Bayadere--writes an angsty letter to you begging you for advice on how to deal with her/his problems. In this case, you might tell Solor to go to rehab to deal with his opium habit. You might tell Gamzatti to get over herself. Those are just examples. I'm not going to get into what you might say to Nikiya...So, what kind of letters would ballet characters write to you? What kind of advice would you give a character from your favorite (or not) ballet?

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