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Marketing tip -- can you top this one?

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I just read this lovely article in


written by FRANKIE GHEE

it will make you laugh..

He talks about how tough times are for high culture and yet at the same time, crowds are flocking to see professional wrestling matches. So he suggests some things....

Published December 2 - 8, 1999

"To Get Wrestling Fans to cross over to ballet, promoters should:

-Start calling ballerinas "The Women of Ballet."

-Include more grunting and yelling.

-Encourage food and beverage consumption during performances.

-Create ongoing feuds between dancers.

-Have an excitable announcer explain what's happening on stage.

-Schedule performances alongside monster truck rallies.

-Stage huge televised events such as the Ballet Smackdown.

-Get dancers to change their names to things like "The Pinkinator" and "Bulge Bronson."

-Include more body slams.

To Get Ballet Fans to watch more wrestling, promoters should:

-Include more technical terms like pirouette and leap.

-Frequently change storylines and background scenery.

-Give each bout a more literary title, such as Swan Blood Lake or Petruska's Bloody Nose.

-Print up expensive programs that explain the characters' motivations.

- Let the orchestra sit in the good seats.

-Get performers to wear tighter outfits and matching shoes with no arch support.

- Use more group synchronized choreography. ":D

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