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Frightening news from Britain -- can it happen here?


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OHHHHHHh, THIS IS TERRIBLE!!! I CANNOT believe this! I am really shocked.... but if they're placing a ban like this for ballet productions, they must do so in EVERY other performing arts productions, whether they are movies, plays, musicals, ETC...or it wouldn't be fair!!! Ballet is already considered somewhat "exclusive" and this ban is making the exclusiveness worse. Less people will be willing to become "members" just to see these performances, if they aren't passionate ballet fans like us... Oh this is really sad..... frown.giffrown.giffrown.giffrown.giffrown.gif

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Why stop with animals?

Ballet portrays any number of social/ethnic groups in inflattering manners, and it's high time it cleaned up its act. Wiccans everywhere must be horrendously offended at the unflattering portrayal of Madge as a "witch." Not to mention the nasty stereotype of "evil" sorcerers like Von Rothbart.

I could go on about all those embarassing and uncorrect ethnic dances which must be cleansed from the repertory, but I'll just mention the most oppressed group of all -- aristocrats. When did you ever see a ballet which didn't portray nobles as a bunch of overprivileged, overdressed fops with nothing better to do than leer at peasant girls and drink interminable toasts to each other?

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Perhaps this is one of those "tone" things that's hard to get properly over the internet -- but I assumed the article was a joke, and a rather nasty one at that. (Ross Stretton boasting of bagging a 'roo or a koala bear? The Arts Council using the term "re-education?" unlikely.) But people's responses on this board sound as if they aren't reading it as a joke...Anyway, if someone were to ban the use of live animals for theatrical productions I'd have mixed feelings about it. Animals add atmosphere, but they often do look really miserable. I don't think anyone is about to ban Swan Lake or, for that matter, censor Grimm's fairy tales. On the other hand, they may be trying to satirize the animal rights lobby out of business. And if that's the case, I'm with the animal rights lobby. But perhaps everybody here is joking and I'm the straight man...

[This message has been edited by Drew (edited April 01, 2001).]

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Yes, this is Bruce Marriott's annual April Fools Joke. I always fall for it, too, especially with the offficial insignia down the side. Sorry, Drew, but I don't think it was at all nasty.

Manhattnik, there's already been some PC dance criticism in Britain. One critic last year quite seriously complained about "La Fille Mal Gardee" -- mocked the retarded and rural folk, as well (memory fades) as some displeasure at the animals.

[This message has been edited by alexandra (edited April 01, 2001).]

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Bruce always does a bang-up job of providing a good April Fools satire in the time-honoured British tradition. So how many of you fell for the one last year about the "newly discovered 3rd act of Giselle"? It was an extremely well-written piece that reported that someone had discovered archives in a library in Idaho (if I remember correctly) that was the libretto of the 3rd Act of Giselle - in which it turns out that Giselle, and everyone else, experienced Act II as a hallucination - that in fact Giselle never had died at all. The 3rd act is taken up by Giselle and Albrecht travelling the world (lots of ethnic dances) before returning home in triumph.

Britain has a proud history of such "hoaxes.

The BBC once did a piece on the "Spahetti Harvest in Italy". It depicted happy natives in national costume climbing ladders placed against the spaghetti trees and carefully harvesting each strand, so it would not break. Then there was the Guardian's centrefold (c. 1977) about the small, Indian Ocean nation of Sans Serif - a country consisting of two islands shaped like a ;. Now the Guardian frequently had centrefolds about different nations. There would be articles about the politics, geography, economy, main industries, tourism, etc. about these countries - so they did the same for Sans Serif. (For those of you who don't know, sans serif is a kind of type face.) They even threw in a photo contest for readers' best holiday snaps from Sans Serif. cool.gif

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People's serious responses are as funny as the joke itself. Was it last year or the year before that a news release from Bruce about the EU's new job safety regulation that prohibited the 32 fouette and all dancers must wear protective head gears?

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Good question, Sonja. I'm sure they're archived at ballet.co.uk, but I don't know where. Jane Simpson, or any other ballet.co regulars, if you're reading this, do you have any ideas?

The first one was the best, I thought, simply because it was the first, and so nobody thought it was April Fool's. It was that the Royal Ballet was going to do an ice show. A very, very tacky ice show. It had photos, and everything!

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Alexandra, The Brits still have a sense of humor! It was an April Fool's joke.

Sorry, I just saw your first note. I didn't realize the cover had already been blown.

[This message has been edited by cargill (edited April 02, 2001).]

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I think I've had enough of April Fools jokes. (There was one on every forum I go to!) But this ban on animals thing was hilarious! Good job to Bruce!

Anyway, with that horrible MAD COW lingo going around in the U.K., do you think the British government will make a ban towards cattle in the performing arts?

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Thanks for posting the link, Kevin. I had forgotten that vital fact of historical interest about Sir Fred having actually seen the Act III performed by the Ballet Clasico de los Galapagos. I guess it would have stayed with him - as one of the national dances performed in the Act III is the blue-footed booby dance. I heard that when the Ballet Clasico de los Galapagos took Giselle on tour they ran into a problem when they ran out of blue dye for the toe shoes of the girls doing the booby dance and the local shops were unable to supply any. I heard they had to substitute green instead and rely on blue gels over the lights to make the girls' feet look blue. Oh, the joys of touring!

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