49 replies to this topic

[sissonne]

I thoroughly agree that adults can be just as irritating as unruly children.  Even more so, IMO, since the adults should (should being the operative word....) know better.

Children should certainly be exposed to high art at a young age, but the parents should be firm in enforcing their children's adherance to the rules of "audience etiquette".  I'm sure many a student (myself included) was inspired to begin ballet training after attending his/her first ballet performance.  Mine was a "post-nap time" Nutcracker matinee at the age of five.  I attended with my parents and great-grandmother (an avid ballet fan....I used to sit in her house and endlessly leaf through her programs).  My one-year-old sister was left at home.  Much to my mother's delight (and in accordance with her master-plan), I begged for classes after the performance.  However, my parents hold PhDs in Emily Post   and I can still hear my mother's voice instructing me to "behave like a proper young lady"....or else!!

Forgive the autobiography, but though I thought my parents to be terribly strict when I was younger, I now thank them for the knowledge and exposure to the arts they've given me.  Not having children myself, I only have my childhood memories to refer to on this topic .  It seems to be somewhat common  for people to be rather intimidated when attending cultural performances in their adult years if they were not exposed as a child....this intimidation is oftentimes projected in the form of complaining, trying to be funny, or attempting to appear knowledgeable by commenting endlessly on the events on stage.  It seems these people have tried to "broaden their horizons", but only halfheartedly without doing some research beforehand to familiarize themselves with what to expect.  An example would be my DISASTROUS date to last year's HB performance of Sleeping Beauty!  Comments from neighboring audience members are one thing, but when your date (who purchased the tickets to surprise you) complains about being there through the whole performance in an effort to be funny.....asking you to wake him at intermission......   Ooooohhhh...I shudder at the memory. I was so embarrassed!  My "shushes" only encouraged him.  Needless to say, the relationship was short-lived.  It ended when he dropped me off at my house post-performance.  I politely requested he not even bother walking me to the door.....

[Mike]

That's a really funny story. I'm probably the easiest person in the world to embarrass in public. I would have let him nod off and then left during intermission.

[Alexandra]

How about latecomers?  This varies from theater to theater (the Kennedy Center is merciless, forcing you to stand in the back if you miss the curtain, but others around here are much more lenient).  I attended several performances this past season where there was an incessant stream of latecomers, through the entire first piece. Since the theater is pitch black, they can't find their seats, so there's a lot of "Is this Row X?" "No, we're L," as well as "Maude, is that you?" or simply standing in the aisle, and thus blocking the view of everyone in the vicinity, etc.

As a viewer, it annoys me.  As a critic, it panics me because they just may be blocking the most crucial two or three minutes of the ballet.

On printing behavior tips in the program book, one local school-and-company, in its annual Nutcracker program, prints a page, in simple language and large type, of how to behave in the theater.  Ten simple rules.

[colwill]

Alexandra, since I started this topic I am amazed at the wide range of annoying items, so will you please post the 10 'rules' of good behaviour. I would like to be able to pass them on to some members of the audience. It really surprises me that people will spend large sums of money to get good seats at a performance and then behave so badly as some of the comments on this topic.

[Andrei]

Well, I see that Russia still has some advantages. Orchestra's doors close with ouverture, so, latecomers will climb on balcony, after intermission they can take their seats. No children under 10 years old allow to go to evening performances, for matinee limit is 5 years old, but I'm not sure, may be even 7.
The most annoying things for me in St.Petersburg are clackers, fans of some particular dancer who applaud, shout doesn't matter how this dancer did his/her job tonight.

Andrei.

[Alexandra]

Colwill, if I ever find that program again, I'll be glad to post the Rules.  If anyone here is from the Maryland Youth Ballet and still has a program handy, perhaps you could post them?

Andrei, three cheers for Russia!!!  All sensible rules.  A very politically incorrect story.  I can either say this company was from a land that we American capitalists in our benighted way feel is a wee bit repressive, or I can say it was a Chinese company that visited DC during the reign of the Gang of Four.  Whatever.  The preperformance announcement is always given by the visiting company's people.  And this was an announcement that would strike terror into the hearts of men.  Not just the words, but the tone.  It was not your "We ask that patrons please refrain from..."  It was "GOOD EVENING.  THE TAKING OF PHOTOGRAPHS DURING THIS PERFORMANCE IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN."  There were other things that were forbidden, but I was too frightened to hear them.  Actually, our audience is very well-trained in this way, from years of sharp-eyed and aggressive ushers who seemed to be on a quota ticketing system  

One good story about a child, since children have figured so much in this thread.  One night at a performance of the Chinese Acrobats of Taiwan (yes, I know it's not a ballet) there was a tiny boy, no more than four.  A little Chinese, or Chinese-American, boy dressed in a sailor suit and carrying a teddy bear.  I didn't notice him until I was leaving, although he was only two rows behind me, testament to his exemplary behavior.  But now he was sobbing as only a very young child can -- forget Lady Capulet and Tybalt, this was Grief.  The reason?  Because he didn't want it to be over.  I will never forget that.  It must be the most wonderful compliment anyone ever paid an artist (and these acrobats were artists).

[sissonne]

eWolf, I'm also rather easily embarrassed if I find myself with someone who just doesn't know how to behave in public!  I would have loved to leave my disastrous date snoring at intermission, but then I would have had to miss the second act  !

I'm surprised to learn that rules on late arrivals are so lenient in many places.  At the Wortham Center, you are absolutely forbidden to enter the theatre after the lights go down...not even to watch from the balcony or the back of the theatre.  Ticket holders are reminded repeatedly that late arrivals may watch the beginning of the performance on monitors located in the Green Room and claim their seats at intermission.  Additionally, there is an announcement at the beginning of the performance that flash-photography is forbidden, "for the safety of the dancers and by law."  Thankfully, I've never once seen a flash go off during a performance.  How distracting!  We also have the usual reminder to turn phones and pagers off or to silent mode (although some still manage to overlook this instruction).  I could swear that there used to be a section on "audience etiquette" printed in the programs, but I couldn't seem to find it in my recent R&J program.  It may be Houston Grand Opera who politely reminds its audience members that "lovebirds should refrain from leaning against each other as it obstructs the view of audience members in the rows behind."

[Alexandra]

I've got a "top this one" story.  At Paul Taylor in D.C. last Friday, a tiny tot (no more than 3) with her mother (presumably) and grandmother (presumably) caused a ruckus the likes of which I haven't seen in 25 years of dancegoing.

She talked.  She squirmed.  She jumped up and down.  She talked louder.  I WANT TO SEE THE BALLERINA.  NO MOMMY NO STOP IT STOP IT MAKE HIM STOP IT I DON'T LIKE HIM WHAT'S HE DOING STOP IT STOP IT

This was during "The Word," one of Taylor's less sunny pieces.

During the intermission, I saw several irate patrons who had had the misfortune to sit behind the child -- who said they couldn't see a thing, in addition to being disturbed by her talking -- go to an usher, who apparently had not realized she was expected to intervene.  (A friend who'd turned around and glared more than I had said that the mother had seemed completely oblivious to the child's behavior.)

Further during the intermission, the mother and daughter sat on a bench -- apparently determined to go in for the finale.  The mother was feeding the child something -- pudding, perhaps?  ("Oh, good.  More sugar," a friend observed.)  We were told several patrons had asked for their money back.  The house manager was talking to the mother for a l-o-n-g time.  The mother/daughter did not return.  The other woman did.

I was about three rows in front of them, across an aisle.  Several people around me decided that if it happened again, we'd intervene.  "If the stewardesses won't do anything, then it's up to the passengers," I said, volunteering to throw a blanket over the mother and drag her up the aisle.  The very nice man sitting next to me offered to go for the pudding.

[Alexandra]

I've got a "top this one" story.  At Paul Taylor in D.C. last Friday, a tiny tot (no more than 3) with her mother (presumably) and grandmother (presumably) caused a ruckus the likes of which I haven't seen in 25 years of dancegoing.

She talked.  She squirmed.  She jumped up and down.  She talked louder.  I WANT TO SEE THE BALLERINA.  NO MOMMY NO STOP IT STOP IT MAKE HIM STOP IT I DON'T LIKE HIM WHAT'S HE DOING STOP IT STOP IT

This was during "The Word," one of Taylor's less sunny pieces.

During the intermission, I saw several irate patrons who had had the misfortune to sit behind the child -- who said they couldn't see a thing, in addition to being disturbed by her talking -- go to an usher, who apparently had not realized she was expected to intervene.  (A friend who'd turned around and glared more than I had said that the mother had seemed completely oblivious to the child's behavior.)

Further during the intermission, the mother and daughter sat on a bench -- apparently determined to go in for the finale.  The mother was feeding the child something -- pudding, perhaps?  ("Oh, good.  More sugar," a friend observed.)  We were told several patrons had asked for their money back.  The house manager was talking to the mother for a l-o-n-g time.  The mother/daughter did not return.  The other woman did.

I was about three rows in front of them, across an aisle.  Several people around me decided that if it happened again, we'd intervene.  "If the stewardesses won't do anything, then it's up to the passengers," I said, volunteering to throw a blanket over the mother and drag her up the aisle.  The very nice man sitting next to me offered to go for the pudding.

[linsusanr]

Wow, Alexandra, that's really something.  I can't say I've experienced anything like that (yet)!  I just wanted to put in a word about the whole cell phone ringing bit.  I know it's really annoying, but I'm sure some well-meaning people simply forget once or twice in their lives to turn off their phone before the performance.  I usually have subscription tickets, so the crew of performance attenders is generally the same.  If they like ballet enough to get a subscription, I would hope they wouldn't mean to leave their ringers on!  

By the same token, I have a little story to tell, too.  It was a symphony concert, actually, and during the piano concerto the pianist was starting the most lyrical and emotional part of his cadenza.  The symphony had totally dropped out, so it was just the soloist.  Right as there was a pause in the melody, someone's phone went off with "Toreador" from Carmen!  I felt so sorry for the pianist (who went through beautifully)!  But for some reason it was so very funny.  Many of the patrons near me smiled and grinned, but of course kept quiet and enjoyed the rest of the piece.  smile.gif

[Andrew]

I think people are just getting more and more inconsiderate  frown.gif    They talk and get too rowdy during performances, especially amateur types (like recitals and comps).  People don't remove their loud children either, and that really bugs me. If a baby is crying, they need to leave (too bad if they paid $$ for the show).  

A really annoying thing about recitals is when people get up and leave after their own kid has finished performing, how rude is that?  Anyway, I'm sure I'm repeating lots of what has already been said but I think sometimes adults are more annoying than the kids .  During my last recital I was totally disgusted with the talking and people moving around, especially when the little kids performed-like they weren't worthy of the same consideration the older performers get. How bout this? If the rule is no flash photos or use of video cams during the performance and the announcement is made right before the performance and it's noted on the program,  is it okay to still do it? Ummm nooo..... but they still do, you can bet on it and I've almost fallen off a stage from being disoriented from flashes.   Don't even let me get going on sporting events and how the parents swear and scream at everyone, grrrrr. Oh wait, let me throw in how people get up and talk and stuff during the National Anthem...flag, what flag? Aakkkkkkkkkkkk!!! Sigh...

[vagansmom]

Oh dear. You've all reminded me of an event from around 8 years ago which I heard about, but luckily wasn't witness to. My daughter, at about age 9 or 10, went off to a Boston Ballet performance with her friend and her parents. These girls were thrilled to be in attendance and knew the Nutcracker intimately, having been in productions since they were 6. They were sitting directly behind Bruce Marks, then AD of BB. The two girls, according to the parents (who themselves are dancers and know Marks a little, thank goodness), critiqued the performance from start to finish, comparing it to their own pre-professional school's student production. Of course these loyal little girls found that Boston Ballet just didn't measure up whatsoever. I'd give anything to know the thoughts going through Marks' head throughout that performance. Wonder if it's too late to apologize?

[ November 02, 2001: Message edited by: vagansmom ]

[Andrew]

Yes, that gets high marks for rudeness (a score of 9 out of 10).   That reminds me, I invited a teacher I knew from a different studio to watch our spring recital.. She brought along a student of hers to watch it with her as well.  So afterwards I was talking to them and this teacher preceeded to tell me how poorly trained certain dancers were (mostly the soloists).  I was like...shattered.  I'll bet they both sat there and critiqued the whole performance, just like with your experience (vegansmom).  I still don't think she realized how offensive she was  to me and everyone I know who worked so hard.

[Alexandra]

dancingal, I think it's only people who are LOUD that will annoy others.  If you can really whisper softly, or hold your comments to the applause, that's fine.  But -- re Andrew's comments above -- it's good to remember, when making comments about the dancers, that the dancer's mother may well be sitting in front of you!  smile.gif

[Alexandra]

dancingal, I think it's only people who are LOUD that will annoy others.  If you can really whisper softly, or hold your comments to the applause, that's fine.  But -- re Andrew's comments above -- it's good to remember, when making comments about the dancers, that the dancer's mother may well be sitting in front of you!  smile.gif