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Nutcracker (1982) with - Joan Collins!

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24 replies to this topic

#16 Juliet


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Posted 12 September 2002 - 12:54 PM

One of my favourite movie treats is the part of Invitation to the Dance where Claude Bessy steals and eats the guy's sandwich while doing pirouettes...and she doesn't forget the pickle.
It's in the first section called Ring-around-the-rosy.....

I simply must see that Joan Collins one--is it really called Nutcracker? It sounds like something Rumer Godden would have written....

No, really I think the best casting for Joan Collins would be Tamara Toumanova.....but who would we get for Mama?

#17 Mel Johnson

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Posted 12 September 2002 - 02:19 PM

My nominee for Ballet Golden Turkey is The Unfinished Dance, a horrifyingly bad Hollywood remake of the masterpiece Le Mort du Cygne, starring Claire Bloom, Cyd Charisse, Margaret O'Brien (or was it O'Sullivan, I always get them mixed up) and as the father, introducing...Danny Thomas!!!:eek:

#18 Siren



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Posted 12 September 2002 - 04:40 PM

I did a search for the Joan Collins Nutcracker and came up with two titles, which seem to be two different movies?:

Nutcracker Sweets (the sequel, perhaps?)

The scary thing here is that this is real. What an absolute hoot! This is just too good to be believed. I don't think Blockbuster carries it and the video lists for $70, I think. Too much for me, but boy would be this make for decliciously guilty viewing! Love the Rocky Horror suggestion.

#19 Alexandra


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Posted 12 September 2002 - 05:13 PM

Mel, The Unfinished Dance sounds suitably ..... well-cast for a Turkey Festival. Can you give us a plot synopsis? I've never heard of this one!

#20 Mme. Hermine

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Posted 12 September 2002 - 05:48 PM

found this: (let me know if i needed to edit etc. alexandra

1947, 101 minutes, Technicolor.
Producer, Joe Pasternak; Director, Henry Koster; Screenplay, Myles Connolly and Paul Morand; Cinematography, Robert Surtees; Music Direction, Herbert Stothart; Choreography, David Lichine.


Meg Merlin, Margaret O'Brien; Mlle. Ariane Bouchet, Cyd Charisse; La Darina, Karin Booth; Mr. Paneros, Danny Thomas; Olga, Esther Dale; mr. Ronsell, Thurston Hall; Murphy, Harry Hayden; Josie, Mary Eleanor Donahue; Miss Merlin, Ruth Brady; mme. Borodin, Ann Codee; Jacques Lacoste, Gregory Gaye; Fred Carleton, Charles Bradstreet; Phyllis, Connie Cornell.


Holiday for Strings by David Rose; I Went Merrily On My Way by Sammy Fain and Irving Kahal; excerpts from The Bartered Bride by Smetana; Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky; Faust by Gounod; Liebesfreud by Kreisler and Beethoven's Symphony No. 2.


"The story of a poor orphan (O'Brien) and how her hero-worshipping devotion to a famous ballerina (Cyd Charisse) results in a tragic accident when, mistakenly believing newcomer Karin Booth to be a threat to Charisse's supremacy in the company, she inadvertently pulls the wrong switch during a performance, causing Miss Booth to fall through a trap door and injure her spine. . ."
- Clive Hirschhorn, The Hollywood Musical


". . .a glossy but cloying remake of Jean Benoit-Levy's touching French film Ballerina (1938). . .it pulled all the wrong switches where the emotions were concerned, substituting bathos for pathos."
- Clive Hirsachhorn, The Hollywood Musical

"The same old story with pathos, humor and ballet substituted for pathos, humor and chorus girls."

"The delicacies of the French original, La Morte du Cygne, give way to standard Hollywood hokum and produce an accomplished but totally uninteresting film."
- Halliwell's Film Guide

#21 Mme. Hermine

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Posted 12 September 2002 - 06:08 PM

but!!!!!! i think i have a winner!!!!!!
i remember seeing this one, and had almost forgotten it: it's called: (drum roll)
Howling III - The Marsupials
and the synopsis says:
the story centers around the existance of and subsequent hunt for a tribe of marsupial werewolves. Descended from the extinct Tasmanian Tiger, the tribe of marsupials have remained a secret until one of their own escapes to America and becomes a popular B Movie actress. Before long, other members of the tribe are sent to bring her back, attention is called to the tribe when she becomes famous and eventally, the marsupial tribe is being hunted through the outback by the military while a small band of humans race to protect them. Toss into the mix, werewolf nuns, a Russian werewolf ballerina, a 'Hitchcockian' B movie director and some other truly odd moments and you have a werewolf film unlike any other!

#22 Leigh Witchel

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Posted 12 September 2002 - 07:30 PM

OK Gang, any casting suggestions for the Russian Werewolf ballerina?

[Running for the exit]

#23 Manhattnik


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Posted 12 September 2002 - 08:29 PM

OK Gang, any casting suggestions for the Russian Werewolf ballerina?

Hmmm. Dark hair. Sharp, angular features. Feral smile. Strong and slightly scary. Transforms into something both more and less than human at night....

Nah, I'm drawing a blank.

#24 Mme. Hermine

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Posted 13 September 2002 - 04:07 AM

siren if you'd really like to see it the joan collins film i can arrange to get a copy to you, tho it won't be the best copy. it is every bit as bad as you can imagine. perhaps i can make one and there can be a round robin passing it from one BA member to another? i actually kind of have it by accident in that it was on a tape with something else someone gave me, and not even labeled!

#25 Mme. Hermine

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Posted 13 September 2002 - 04:22 AM

they just keep comin' folks. how about this:
L'AMANTE DEL VAMPIRO (1961/Consorzio Italiano Film/UA.) 86mins. BW. Italy.
Credits: Dir: Renato Polselli; Prod: Bruna Bolognesi; Sc: Renato Polselli, Ernesto Castaldi & Giuseppe Pellegrini; Ph: Angelo Balstrocchi; Art: Angelo Baistrocchi; Sfx: Leopoldo Rosi & Raffaele del Monte; Mus: Aldo Piga.
Cast: Walter Brandi, Maria-Luisa Rolando, Helene Remi, Iscaro Ravaioli, Tina Gloriani, John Turner.
"Blood-lusting fiend who preys on girls! Vampire-queen who feeds on the lifeblood of men!"
Two ballerinas, Luisa, (Remi), and Francesca, (Gloriani), seek refuge from a storm in a castle owned by a female vampire, (Rolando), and her leathery faced servant, (Brandi).

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