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Ballet Jokes

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#1 kirovgal



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Posted 24 September 2001 - 01:41 PM

Hi everyone!
I don't know about all of you, but I like ballet jokes, especially funny ones! So, I thought that some good, clean ballet laughter sounds like fun! Here's one that's not too funny:
Q: How many ballet dancers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 50, 1 to do it, and 49 to say they could have done it better.
Ta da!

#2 Giannina


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Posted 25 September 2001 - 03:10 PM

This thread is a great idea. Unfortunately I don't know any ballet jokes other than the quips "Giselle gives me the Wilies" and "Turnout is fair plie", which are old as the hills. We've all made comments that are hilariously funny to ballet lovers; can't think of those either. Surely someone has a ballet joke or two. Maybe we could make up some, for example, "What do you get if you combine '... and ...'?", using ballet characters/terms/titles.


#3 Mel Johnson

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Posted 25 September 2001 - 07:59 PM

  • Q: What are we dancing tonight?

  • A: Don Q.

  • Q: Don't mention it, but what are we dancing tonight?
[ 09-25-2001: Message edited by: Mel Johnson ]

#4 eugene



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Posted 26 September 2001 - 06:57 AM

Q: How many ballerinas does it take to change a light bulb

A: None - as if she would degrade herself by doing such a menial task!

Q: What are the four food groups for professional dancers as taught in ballet school

A: Diet coke, cigarettes, coffee and ibupropine (painkillers)

Q: Why do ballet orchestra players get up at 5 o'clock

A: Because the banks and shops close at six.

#5 salzberg


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Posted 27 September 2001 - 06:29 AM

Q: How many dancers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It doesn't matter; they won't be in their light anyway.

#6 Richard Jones

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Posted 27 September 2001 - 03:24 PM

A touring ballet company was performing Swan Lake for the first night of a week’s performances in a new venue. The orchestra was based locally, and hadn’t played for this company before. After the performance, people were calling at the dressing room used by the ballerina who had danced Odette/Odile, complimenting her on the performance. Among them was a man in evening dress, who introduced himself as the bass trombonist from the orchestra. He explained that, from his position in the pit, he could watch her during his many bars rest. He seemed to know what he was talking about when commenting on the finer points of her performance, and she felt very flattered; she was also very intrigued that one of the orchestral players (who can be a hard-bitten lot) was so keen on the ballet. When he invited her for a drink she immediately accepted. A drink led to a meal, which led to a week’s beautiful friendship……

The company then moved on, and set up in their next venue, over 100 miles away. Because of touring costs, the orchestra did not travel with them; once again the performance involved a locally-based professional band. The first night of Swan Lake brought about the same rapturous reception as before, with the same ballerina dancing Odette/Odile on the opening night. Once again she was besieged by well-wishers after the performance, and once again there was a member of the orchestra among the group. He particularly raved about the white swan pas-de-deux, which he said he had been able to see from where he was sitting in the pit; in fact he said he had enough bars rest here and there during the evening to have had plenty of opportunity to watch her performance. He then invited her for a drink and a meal. She wanted to know more about the orchestra, and him, so she accepted the invitation. On the way to the restaurant, it turned out that, once again, she was in the company of a bass trombonist. During the rest of the week she saw got to know that bass trombonist very well…….

The company then moved on again, and set up in another town. This time they opened with a triple bill. Once again there were enthusiastic cheers, and autograph hunters crowded the stage door. Again, there was a new orchestra, known for their habit of getting out of the theatre within a few minutes of the final curtain. Soon after the end of the performance there was not a single musician left in the pit. After three nights of the triple bill, the company was due to perform Swan Lake, with the usual star ballerina as Odette/Odile. Once again there were rapturous cheers after the performance; once again there were people waiting for her at her dressing room; and once again there was a member of the orchestra to say how he appreciated her interpretation of both roles, and to invite her to have a drink with him. During the meal which inevitably followed, she asked him which instrument he played. “Bass trombone” he said. She couldn’t believe this coincidence. Later, back at her hotel, she had to ask why it was that, wherever the company performed Swan Lake, she was always met afterwards by the bass trombonist, who would then take her out for a drink and a meal, and prove to be very knowledgeable about the ballet and her performance. “Because”, he said, “with the set of orchestral parts that this company uses, the instructions are all written in at the end of the music”.

#7 felursus


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Posted 28 September 2001 - 02:39 PM

I'm amused by the series of "how many ballerinas to change a light bulb" jokes. Actually, the answer is "none", because if one ever did try to change a light bulb she'd be fired, or at least severely reprimanded, for nearly causing a strike by the stagehands responsible for electrics. I know this to be true because a stagemanager friend nearly did cause a strike by plugging together the male and female ends of two cables that provided the power for the tape deck that played the pre=recorded music for one ballet - all so as not to have to disturb the stagehands who had already repaired to the local pub. :D

#8 Mme. Hermine

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Posted 28 September 2001 - 06:05 PM

Q: What are we dancing tonight?

A: Don Q.

Q: Don't mention it, but what are we dancing tonight?

A: Who Cares?

#9 Manhattnik


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Posted 28 September 2001 - 10:50 PM

Q: What are we dancing tonight?


Q: Gesundheit!

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