26 replies to this topic

[Birdsall]

Recently I was private messaged by someone who implied I am too dumb and should not be posting anything to Ballet Alert and people like me are the reason so many dancers and knowledgeable people no longer post. I was under the impression Ballet Alert was for everyone and even beginner's. I have never gone into the Dancer version of the site because I don't belong there, but I post often to this one so I learn. I have never tried to portray myself as anything other than someone who likes ballet, watches a lot and wants to learn, etc. Do the majority only want the "cognoscenti" posting and the rest of us to just listen and not ask questions or give our opinions? I would like to know. If this place has 98% wanting only "cognoscenti" posting I will retire from this forum. Maybe a new branch should be created for beginners and people who want to teach them about the art. That might solve the problem. I will go there instead if such a forum is created.

[Mme. Hermine]

Good heavens; Bart, you sit yourself down right where you are and don't you dare move a toe to leave just because of such a varmint!!!!  (heh heh).

And I've been on this board since 1999.  

[Birdsall]

How do I block someone who keeps private messaging me?

[ascballerina]

I believe you go to "My settings" and then "ignore preferences", add the user, and check the "message" box.  But I'm guessing; I've never had to ignore a member before.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[Mashinka]

Maybe we can turn this one on its head and suggest the person who sent the message is too rude to post on Ballet Alert.

[Birdsall]

Thanks to everyone! Ascballerina, thanks!

[Birdsall]

Mashinka, on 30 November 2012 - 08:49 AM, said:

Maybe we can turn this one on its head and suggest the person who sent the message is too rude to post on Ballet Alert.

I told the person that he didn't post publicly b/c he knew his intent was to kick me but he is now claiming I am the rude and hurtful person because I responded to rudeness with rudeness. Basically, he wanted me to roll over and play dead, I guess, and let him kick me. This is actually the second time this person I never knew contacted me and was rude. The first time I turned the other cheek, but now he is blocked!

[lmspear]

I'm sorry you had to deal with this person's nonsense, Bart.  During my membership I've always found Ballet Alert to be the most considerate and politely toned recreational forum that I've participated in.

[cubanmiamiboy]

Ha,ha...what a silly thing.   Stay where you are, hon, and keep the miserables within their misery. Love and peace!

[Helene]

This board is for everyone who wants to discuss classical ballet (in the ballet forums) and who post within our policies, with very few exceptions, and those are single-issue posters with agendas.  (Birdsall, you are not remotely in that category.)

We have people with a wide range of experience and knowledge.  People post voluntarily, some more, some less. There are many people we miss, and many who want us to be something else that is not necessarily replicable at this point in cyber-history, but not to get all Balanchiney, we don't hold guns to people's heads.  If people like the environment, they read and/or post.  If they don't, they don't, and they drop off -- of course for many reasons -- and either start blogs, start their own boards -- okay, doesn't happen often, but anyone who wants to can, and they can control who's invited to the party -- find another platform, like Facebook or Twitter, subscribe to Google or bing alerts, or enjoy ballet another way.  We assume that there are long-time members that rarely or never post but use the PM system to discuss ballet, the election, and their kid's upcoming graduation.

Members are adults and make their own decisions about how to use their time and energy, and while our goal was never to make people 100% comfortable -- we encourage respectful debate -- we try to keep it as free of hostility towards other members as possible, although we accept the inevitable possibilty that people will behave badly in private.

Admins don't have access to the content of PM's unless members accidentally reply to email notifications instead of the PM itself, since the "From" for the emails is our address.

However, our policy is if someone is using the PM system to harrass or abuse, there are several approaches you can take:

1.  In the PM section of te sire, for each PM, there is a list of "Participants.". If there is the word Block under the name of the poster, click it to block further PM's.  (It should change to "Unblock.")

You can't block Admins or Moderators from sending you PM's, though.

2.  Because of reasons that I haven't been able to understand through the "Help" forums, the "Block" link doesn't appear for everyone (aside from Admins/Moderators).  If you want to block another member and there is no link, please send one final message to that person, asking them never to contact you again.  If they do -- not including something that crossed in transit -- let me know, and chances are they will lose their PM privileges, or at least go through a round of the 'I never got the no more PM messages' dance, which they can only use once.  Alternately, or if their Inbox is full, let me know, and I'll send that message.  I don't need a reason why, just that you don't want the person to send you PMs anymore.

PM's are not meant to bludgeon, harrass, or privately attempt to police this board, but, we don't know what's in them unless you tell us there's an issue, and, preferably, directly to us via PM.  (We haven't had this issue be discussed publicly for a while, so there's little reason for most to know or remember, and I'll add a bullet point to the policy list.)

I'm actually glad I can't see PM content, because, while I might read some interesting unofficial news, people have already written to me directly to equate me with Hitler and Stalin and to call me a fascist and a stupid cow, so I don't have any illusions but it would not be fun to see members abusing other members.

[Bonnette]

Birdsall, although I am a former dancer, it was so long ago - and I am so far out of the loop, both in terms of memory and first-hand acquaintance with contemporary dance issues - that I count myself a respectful, admiring bystander. Love of the art is what this forum is all about, and even the cognoscenti can benefit from fresh points of view and questions whose answers often call for reflection and renewed examination. I don't post often, as I have little to offer in the way of balletic expertise, compared to so many others here - but I do feel welcome, and hope that you will again, once the sting of this experience has passed.

[cubanmiamiboy]

BB...FOCUS, FOCUS on tonight's performance! You and bart will be seeing and reviewing the Caldera number, which I skipped.  Good luck tonight at the ballet! ;-)

[Birdsall]

Thanks, everyone! Helene, thanks for the explanation. Bonnette, that was nice to hear! Cristian, for someone who did not want to see Piazzolla Caldera, you sure are interested! LOL Why don't you go to one this weekend?

[sandik]

Helene, on 30 November 2012 - 12:18 PM, said:

We assume that there are long-time members that rarely or never post but use the PM system to discuss ballet, the election, and their kid's upcoming graduation.

I'll try and craft a message that includes all three, but it will take me awhile...

[Amy Reusch]

I agree with Mashinka.  And I miss Tom Parsons who always had such diplomatic influence on early ballet internet forum discussions.  If discussing ballet were left only to the experts, it would be a very sorry cultivating of a healthy ballet audience... it would be interesting to read, but it would not be the lively forum we have here.  If the audience does not think and wonder and ask...  There is a place for everyone here.