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Hate having to write your artist statement?Generate one for free!


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#1 Kathleen O'Connell

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Posted 19 June 2011 - 06:42 AM

I'm pretty sure that the perpetrators of some of the program notes I've been subjected to recently have used this handy tool:

Arty Bollocks Generator

Try it for yourself!

Here's what I got:

My work explores the relationship between the tyranny of ageing and life as perfomance.

With influences as diverse as Camus and Andy Warhol, new tensions are crafted from both explicit and implicit textures.

Ever since I was a student I have been fascinated by the traditional understanding of the human condition. What starts out as vision soon becomes corroded into a cacophony of greed, leaving only a sense of nihilism and the prospect of a new reality.

As spatial forms become frozen through emergent and critical practice, the viewer is left with an insight into the possibilities of our era.


After you've given the generator a few spins, it's pretty clear what the basic template is, but it's fun anyway.

#2 Mme. Hermine

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Posted 19 June 2011 - 10:59 AM

Hmm, I couldn't get it to work?

#3 Kathleen O'Connell

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Posted 19 June 2011 - 11:03 AM

Hmm, I couldn't get it to work?


Browser issue, maybe? (I had to enable java scripts to get it to work in mine.)

#4 dirac

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Posted 19 June 2011 - 11:25 AM

It worked for me, sort of. I got a box inviting me to generate something.

It would certainly be nice if artists could always use words with the facility they show in their chosen art form, but such isn't always the case, alas. Thanks for the link. :)

#5 Kathleen O'Connell

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Posted 19 June 2011 - 11:31 AM

It worked for me, sort of. I got a box inviting me to generate something.


Did you click on the box? (I know that sounds obvious ... but I thought I'd mention it just in case -- it's a pretty plain looking screen.)

#6 Quiggin

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Posted 19 June 2011 - 12:04 PM

The real thing is more extreme – here's a description from a recent show on the West Coast:

This tenuous ralationship between object and practice situates her practice in an ambiguous territory between self parody and the palimpset of life ... He is drawn to the rhythmic rise and fall that transits between surface and penetration...


But the gallery directors who write these descriptions are very charming and smart and sensible in conversation and put up very handsome shows.

Part of the evolution of this style is from having to write grants and coming up a standardized vocabulary to describe art objects that are "difficult characters." There's also the temptation to throw everything you know, all your favorite philosophical terms – all the spices in your cupboard – into one powerful statement of intent (of which I've been quite guilty). You'll see Wittgenstein, Jung and Rilke cited side by side – who come from completely different universes and would have had no use for each other in real life.

But dance criticism, too, has its own long list of descriptive terms that no longer correspond to experience of dance, or with expired shelf lives.

*

My own favorite wayward pitch came from an upscale coffee roaster in San Francisco (they also have a store in Brooklyn):

A blend of organic Costa Rican and Mexican coffees, Alma Viva excels as a drip or French press. You don't have to be a Flaubert scholar to realize that the Alma Viva is the Emma Bovary of our blends: snappy and forthright, with echoes of orange peel and toasted almonds when no dairy is added, but demure to the point of passivity with milk or cream. Medium to light roast level.



#7 Kathleen O'Connell

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Posted 19 June 2011 - 12:57 PM

My own favorite wayward pitch came from an upscale coffee roaster in San Francisco (they also have a store in Brooklyn):

A blend of organic Costa Rican and Mexican coffees, Alma Viva excels as a drip or French press. You don't have to be a Flaubert scholar to realize that the Alma Viva is the Emma Bovary of our blends: snappy and forthright, with echoes of orange peel and toasted almonds when no dairy is added, but demure to the point of passivity with milk or cream. Medium to light roast level.


I've been told that I excel as a drip, too :wink:

#8 melange

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Posted 20 June 2011 - 08:15 PM

Thanks for posting this. Now I can express my inner Tracey Emin.

#9 4mrdncr

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Posted 20 June 2011 - 08:21 PM

Why didn't I see this post a week or so ago, when I spent three sleepless nights trying to write that grant?! :wallbash:


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