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Suzanne Farrell's "Holding on to the Air"


Guest primasmom

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Guest primasmom

Hi, I'm new to this site and I think it's great. Question...Does anyone no where to find a copy of the autobiography 'Holding On To Air' ? Can't seem to get my hands on a copy for my daughter.

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You might be able to find a copy through alilbris, the online used book store place -- www.alibris.com -- or through Amazon (which does deal in used books) or even through ebay.

BUT -- I have inside info on this :) -- the book is going to be reissued in a new, paperback edition by the University Press of Florida this fall. The catalogue gives a publication date of October, but it might be out before them. They are also my publisher, and I'll ask and see if I can find a better date.

(There's a list price of $24.95)

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I just got an email back from my publisher saying that reissued paperback (with photos!) will be out in August.

This is good news also because university presses "back list" books -- that is, they keep them around more than a few months! So the book will be available for the foreseeable future.

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i think i saw a copy at nycb's gift/book bar. maybe the wedsite for nycballet could get you to the gift bar, which sells any number of second hand books, the selection is, of course, varied but i seem to rem. a copy of farrell's book the last time i looked at that part of the gift bar.

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I was looking for this book too -- guess where I found it? I got it at my local library! I didn't expect to find it there, but I checked it out and had a wonderful time reading it. Don't hesitate to call your local libraries to see whether it is in their catalog, you might be surprised. Good luck!

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Guest attitudegirl

i just got a copy on amazon used book sellers for $4.95 hardback. I've just started reading it!

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The reissue of "Holding on to the Air" is out! Here's the press release from the publisher:

My name is Steve Krutzler and I am the online marketing coordinator for the University Press of Florida, the non-profit publishing wing of the Florida university system. We have recently published a new edition of "Holding On to the Air," by Suzanne Farrell.

This memoir, first published in 1990 and reissued with a new preface by the author, recounts Farrell's transformation from a young girl in Ohio dreaming of greatness to the realization of that dream on stages all over the world. Farrell recalls professional and personal attachments and their attendant controversies with a down-to-earth frankness and common sense that complements the glories and mysteries of her artistic achievement.

We believe that this book may be of interest to your site's visitors and invite them to check out several full samples of the text, available in our reading room. Readers can read about several trip sites in these HTML and PDF samples that offer a substantive preview of the book that we think dance enthusiasts will enjoy.

The Reading Room can be accessed at http://www.upf.com/Mkt/ and contains more information about the book, including a jacket cover image.

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I got the paperback today from Amazon and was thrilled with it. In place of the color photograph by Paul Mejia on the hardcover jacket, of Suzanne musing while leaning against a pillar in a dance studio, the paperback cover shows a well-known 1976 b&w photo by Max Waldman of a girlish-looking Suzanne in Chaconne. Much better, in my opinion. The text is printed from the same plates as the hardcover. and the inside photos are the same, although they aren't reproduced as well.

The big excitement for me, though, is a new "Preface to the 2002 Edition," in which Suzanne mentions how devastated she was at being fired from NYCB by Peter Martins (through an intermediary) in 1993. On a much happier note, she says she has "exciting ideas for the future," and seems to hold out the promise of another book. As befits her status as a college professor, she also sent me to the dictionary with her mention of "osmotic understandings that were shared by George and me."

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I enjoyed it very much, but Farrell remains more of a cipher than either Kirkland or Allegra Kent*. Perhaps she has a more reticent personality than either of them, perhaps she was more aware of her position as an 'icon' (like Margot Fonteyn) and perhaps because the book was written together with someone else.

By the way, I'm sure there is a thread about 'Holding onto the air' somewhere.

* Now her autobiography is an absolute must-read, cubanmiamiboy!!

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Interesting, I was just watching the DVD, "SF: Elusive Muse" last weekend.

So this is this book only a reprint with a new preface? I wish that Farrell would revise some parts of her autobiography. Especially the passages where she asserts that she never wanted to be on anyone's "list" when she was linked with Vera Zorina, Maria Tallchief, Tanaquil Le Clercq, and mentioned in the press as the next Mrs. Balanchine. The tone of her protests seemed inelegant and somewhat insulting to Balanchine's former wives. As if they were lesser dancers or muses because they married him. One could not fault Farrell for the problems that ensued but I wished she would have showed more respect and humility when Le Clercq was still alive [when the autobiography was originally published].

Just my opinion which has been noted more skillfully in a book review in Ballet Review years ago.

Neryssa

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It's hard for me to think of Suzanne Farrell as in any way disrespectful of Balanchine or any of his wives -- or of anyone! She was torn and exceedingly unhappy that Mr. B was professing his love for her while he was still married to Tanny.

Ballet Review had an excellent review of either Farrell's autobiography or the DVD "Elusive Muse" where she repeats her contention that she did not like being on a list, etc. Apparently, I was not the only one who was rankled by such statements. I never accused her of disrespecting Balanchine but I think she could have been more sensitive (in print, on film) to the muses who preceded her. I am not commenting on Farrell as a dancer; I am only trying to discuss her place in history. Her story is never discussed in context in "Elusive Muse." IMHO, I think she tends to monopolize [on the] Balanchine legacy. It is only my opinion.

Neryssa

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I've always found that Farrell's statement rings true.

She was still a young woman and dependent on Balanchine for her professional life. She knew more than anyone what she had to lose were he to cut her out. Her mother, with whom she was living, was in her face and wanted her to marry Balanchine at that point. Yet there was some streak of stubborness, whether protective of self or ego, that made her say "No", draw the line, and deny, independent of feelings of guilt about LeClerq. Perverse as it may be, I've always admired her for that.

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So this is this book only a reprint with a new preface? I wish that Farrell would revise some parts of her autobiography. Especially the passages where she asserts that she never wanted to be on anyone's "list" when she was linked with Vera Zorina, Maria Tallchief, Tanaquil Le Clercq, and mentioned in the press as the next Mrs. Balanchine. The tone of her protests seemed inelegant and somewhat insulting to Balanchine's former wives. As if they were lesser dancers or muses because they married him. One could not fault Farrell for the problems that ensued but I wished she would have showed more respect and humility when Le Clercq was still alive [when the autobiography was originally published].

Neryssa--

Thank you for your comments--I think they're thought-provoking and supported by the texts that you cite. Parodoxically, I think that FarrellFan is probably right too--that she did feel torn; the historian in me, though, would want to know when.

I think it's fine to criticize even our most cherished figures. They are, after all, human beings with human failings, even if we idolize them. Helene your "perverse" admiration captures the sense of paradox well.

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I've always found that Farrell's statement rings true.

She was still a young woman and dependent on Balanchine for her professional life. She knew more than anyone what she had to lose were he to cut her out. Her mother, with whom she was living, was in her face and wanted her to marry Balanchine at that point. Yet there was some streak of stubborness, whether protective of self or ego, that made her say "No", draw the line, and deny, independent of feelings of guilt about LeClerq. Perverse as it may be, I've always admired her for that.

I think that we are discussing 2 different things here, Helene (and I need to find that Ballet Review article). Admiring Farrell for saying "no" is one thing, and describing why or how she said "no" (years later) is another. I too admire her for the former but not the latter. Again, I am not the only one who has taken issue with the way she described her disaffection. Is this even an issue that can be discussed, I wonder? I find myself up against a wall, it seems, when I want to give the muses on the "list" equal time.

Neryssa

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