Obituaries

[Leigh Witchel]

I would have asked Alexandra this question privately, but I thought it might interest all of us. The recent group of obituaries for Ross Stretton (some quite harsh) made me wonder what, if any editorial guidelines there were for them, and if there were any that were more industry-wide.

[Mel Johnson]

Simply put, the longer you last, the more chance the obit people have to be elegant about the farewell. If you die young, anything can happen.

[Mrs. Stahlbaum]

I read an article about the history of obituaries recently (in the last year?). I thought it was in Smithsonian Magazine, but I searched their website and couldn't find it. It dealt with this very subject and was quite interesting. Anybody out there save their old Smithsonian Magazines?

[Alexandra]

I've only written two obituaries (Stanley Williams and Jerome Robbins), both for a British newspaper, and was given guidelines (orally by the editor over the phone) but they were more of an outline: start with why they were famous, do a brief bio, etc. It wasn't "how to write an obit" but "what our obits are generally like." I honestly can't remember whether he said anything about tone and I think that as recently as ten to fifteen years ago, when I wrote those, it wouldn't have been necessary. It was understood by writers that what they wrote had to be in sync with the culture of the newspaper. This wasn't a tabloid, and I should know that (and did) and be familiar with the newspaper enough to know its tone.

I don't think an obit should be an appreciation, or a biographical account that sweeps everything under the rug, but "Serial womanizer Pablo Picasso, who also painted some of the most important works of the 20th century," isn't the way to go either, in my opinion.

But times have changed, and biographies have changed. It's now the fashion to emphasize details rather than an overall view of a life and make sure that anything that would prevent a person running for office if they weren't lucky enough to be dead should be included.

I'd be interested to know what readers expect in an obit. Something that the wife and kids (and fans and followers) can frame? A place to settle old scores? A warts-and-all account of the life? Other?

In line with what Mel wrote, I agree -- if you die at 88, most of your most alluring mistakes will be in the past and you're unlikely to have your obituary written by someone who suffered from them. If you die at 50, the time line is telescoped. And in Stretton's case, the last noted public event of his life -- his tenure at the Royal Ballet -- was controversial, and recent enough to be the only contact many readers would have with him. How much emphasis, how many column inches, should that get?

[carbro]

The NYTimes ran a brief (3-paragraph?) obit for someone close to my family. The sister of the decedent, who was the contact, tried to gloss over the stickly little matter of the second marriage (of three), since the second wife (from whom the deceased was divorced) was dead, anyway. My suspicion is that her efforts, which were not likely very subtle, made the reporter all the more determined to include it.

On the other hand, my brother, a civil servant, married my sister-in-law the same day that Sen. Baker married Sen. Kassebaum. My sister-in-law, a reporter herself for a non-Times-related publication, schmoozed the Wedding Announcement person, and she and Mike got the LEAD wedding announcement in that Sunday's Times!

[Mrs. Stahlbaum]

Okay, I think I found the Smithsonian article (it was shorter than I remember),

here.

Interesting because it particularly mentions the Telegraph

Did someone ask, "O death, where is thy sting?" It is in residence on the obituaries desk at London's Daily Telegraph. In the past, most newspapers believed obituaries should be short, dutiful and dull. The obits desk was the Siberia where failing hacks got banished in their dotage and young reporters learned the importance of being polite and spelling peoples' names correctly. But over the past 15 years, led by the revolutionaries of death at the Telegraph, the obituary has quietly blossomed.

[Leigh Witchel]

It probably seems shorter because the link is to an abstract of the article rather than the full text - but it is interesting!

[Dale]

We learned how to write obits at J-school. There were definitely things you wanted in there.

[bart]

Mrs. Stahlbaum's link shows that the Telegraph has a history of this sort of negative obit-writing.

It also got me thinking about a kinder, gentler obituarist -- Alden Whitman, chief obituary writer of the New York Times in the 1960s-80s, and something of a neighbor in the East End of Long Island. This led me to Google, which led me to the website of something callead the International Association of Obituarists (see, there is such a word). Their website is:

www.obitpage.com

[Renata]

As an estate's attorney, I found this thread very interesting. What exactly should an obituary say and how accurate should it be about your acts during your life. I guess families mainly would prefer the kinder, gentler obituary and so do I. But if you are a public figure, your acts will be studied and criticized even after death, not only in your obituary, but in things written many years later. Pe

[bart]

I guess my concern is not so much including or excluding the negative/controversial. It's a question of balance. The Telegraph obit contained only a few sentences referring to the international, successful part of Stretton's career, focusing almost entirely on his difficulties in "Little Britain." Also, the innuendo about sexual advances seemed odd: either document it or leave it out, I'd think.